Day 4 - Listen

I like watching baseball, playoff baseball in particular. Live at the ballpark is my favorite, but watching from home on TV is also fun for me. Even better than the watching, though, is the listening.

We are fortunate in DC to have a FANTASTIC pair of radio people - Charlie (Slowes) and Dave (Jagler). They really bring the game to life with details and then an array of facts and baseball trivia and interesting tidbits to fill in all the in between. 

I let the girls listen when they go to bed if there's a game on. We listen when we're in the car. And I keep the radio up and the TV down when the Nats are on TV here. Charlie and Dave are my favorite baseball companions. 

Late last season, the Nats did a giveaway of a radio lanyard. This clever thing is a lanyard with a small radio built into a reversible single headphone. The wonder of this is that with it, while you are live at the ballpark, you can put Charlie and Dave right in your ear, no delay. It lets you get the detail you missed when watching. It lets you hear what's going on when you can't quite figure it out from the stands (he was ejected? why? ) I also use it when I want to tune out the chatter from some folks sitting around me. 

I listen to Charlie and Dave almost every night of the season when I am not at the ballpark. This year I have LOVED being able to listen to them while I am live there also. 

I got my hands on a few extras - one for each of the girls. A used it while we were at the Wild Card game this week and said it helped her track stuff better as well. Big win all around for the added gift of listening to the radio live at the ballpark.

Day 3 - Problem

Today's prompt is PROBLEM.  And I have a problem ... I am drawing a blank here. Interesting. I usually reason so hard and through so many permutations when trying to think through solutions that I wear myself to the point of exhaustion.

Today - the opposite. My brain is off. Perhaps that's too many late nights in a row (thanks playoff baseball - YAY and too much homework on practice nights for the girls - BOO). 

I am amused - it's been a long time since I felt like there was NOTHING happening in my brain. Sure sign I need to go to bed.

Although - another positive of my lack of topical thought here, I guess, is that there aren't any major pressing problems in my inner brain circle tonight. That should make a restful night in a few minutes. (CHEERING!!!).

So, with that I'll say - glad I made the effort to throw a few non important words on the page tonight to keep the streak going. That will help me want to write tomorrow. And keep me on track for all 31 days.

Goodnight friends.

Day 2 - Gift

Last night was a baseball game here in DC. My favorite team playing in a one game winner-take-all Wild Card game.

with our friend K, (left) before the game

Baseball as I've often written is my safe space. When I need to reset my brain (redirect, actually) or when I need to do some hard thinking, I do it best at the ballpark.

None of that was happening last night. The whole night was super intense. At least for me. My youngest got to come along with me. Oldest had a game with her varsity team and she made the right (if hard) choice to stay with the team. 

the view from our seats as the Nationals celebrated their win

We trekked down to the ballpark, smooshed in our little Subaru outback with friends. We watched the ebb and flow of the game. The horror of the early home runs against us. The glee of the home run as we tried to come back. The middle innings of good pitching and NO HITTING.  And then as we were down to our final 5 outs, the tide turned. You can read about it and listen to the radio call. 

And after it had turned, and the crowd roared all through it - the loudest I've ever heard my ballpark in person, and after the last fly ball was caught, we exhaled. And we screamed. We cheered and high-fived with strangers. A playoff win. A move forward to the next round.

a bunch of my in real life Nats friends, cheering with the win! 

And the gift of celebrating it with real life friends and stranger but family fan friends. There is little that compares to a playoff win. And the joy that comes when you share it? A gift of a memory to last a lifetime.

Day 1 - Why

Well, this is an appropriate prompt to start with! Why write? Why share my words from my head with friends (or even random internet strangers)? 

For me, sometimes I write (when I make the time) to help make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my brain. Sometimes it is to record some things we did so that I can share with my family (see the unfinished spring break posts) and friends so that I don't repeat myself, or so that far away friends can see and share in our adventures. Or so that I don't forget a memory that I later want to share with the kids. 

Occasionally I write because I am bored and need to refocus on something. Or because I've been meaning to call and catch up with someone but due to time zones and crazy schedules, it is ALWAYS the wrong time to call them. My bestie lives in Seattle.  I don't need to wake her at 4:12a just to ask how her kids are adapting to new schools. She would answer, every time I call, but that is hardly an emergency. So instead I write an email.

And sometimes I write here because it helps me keep a commitment or dust off some rusty skills that may need to be re-engaged. Maybe there's something I need to let out that I can't even put my finger on yet.  Or maybe I just need to see if I cam muster up the energy to make this a regular habit again. I was on a roll for a while and then for 2 years --- ZILCH. And I have missed the writing. And I have missed hanging out with the FMF community on Thursday nights. Life got in the way. 

As fall arrives this year, and I think about what 2019 has brought so far, it's brought a lot of new connections, but also a reminder that there are some old connections I have been missing more than I realized.  So thanks, Kate, for this chance to oil the rusty joints and reach back out to the FMF fun. Glad to be back.  And glad to see the why can still drive me to action.

31 Days of Five Minute Friday

Dusting off the keys again. And wading into the 31 days writing challenge again.  Not sure how it will go, but maybe it will get me back into a writing groove.  (Maybe I will finish the spring break 2017 posts.... )   We shall see.

Anyway, this year, I am joining Kate and the Five Minute Friday crowd, for 31 days of Five Minute Friday posts.  5 minutes a day - of whatever comes to mind on the topic presented.  This will be the landing page, where all the posts of this exercise can be found.  I've tried it 2 or 3 times before, and I seldom make it past day 10, but I have some energy and motivation this time to try and get to the end. Once I get there, it's wedding day!  (for my brother, not me).  So we can conclude, have a fun weekend and then maybe I will circle back and share the amazingness of welcoming Michelle to our family.

See below for the planned adventure of this month. And come join us on any day you like.  Cheers to a new month of fun with some of my favorite on line writing pals.

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Day 1 - Why
Day 2 - Gift
Day 3 - Problem
Day 4 - Listen
Day 5 - Other
Day 6 - Notice
Day 7 - Same
Day 8 - Gather
Day 9 - Join
Day 10 - Scored
Day 11 - Deep
Day 12 - First
Day 13 - Reach
Day 14 - Voice
Day 15 - Open
Day 16 - Avoid
Day 17 - Consistent
Day 18 - Active
Day 19 - Strong
Day 20 - Tell
Day 21 - Person
Day 22 - Sense
Day 23 - Need
Day 24 - Different
Day 25 - Wait
Day 26 - Accept
Day 27 - Better
Day 28 - Rest
Day 29 - Practice
Day 30 - Memory
Day 31 - Enjoy

Practice (Five Minute Friday)

Go.

Hello friends. Dusting off the keys after (gasp) a few YEARS and trying to get back at it. Seems fitting the first time I make time to write, the prompt is practice. Lord knows I am out of practice with writing. And also out of practice with keeping up with this community.

Seems high time I jump back in. I've been feeling the needling to write, and have been pushing it down. Not really sure why. But then it seems I needed more than just a nudge. And I love how that was provided in the form of a Five Minute Friday in real life encounter.  (On a Tuesday - which also seems fitting - since I seldom wrote on Friday, why would we meet on a Friday??)

About 2 weeks ago I traveled from the DC area to Phoenix for a friend's wedding. Any my guy and I decided to take advantage of our time out west and add some vacation exploration onto the trip. So we started in Flagstaff. Which as it turns out is less than 2 hours from where dear FMF friend Anita lives. She decided that if I could traverse the country, she would bridge the final few miles.

So that is how these two internet strangers came to spend a Tuesday afternoon laughing in a Starbucks along historic Route 66. Thanks, Anita, for coming to meet me. And for the wonderful conversation and afternoon of laughter. A little catching up, and a little getting to know you a little bit more. And a little nudge to dust off the keys.

Pleased to report that after that visit, and a terrific vacation with so many reminders of the wonder of friendship, I'm hopefully back at it here with a little more consistency.  So, some catching up to so (including the end of that 2-17 spring break trip - HA HA) and some other things to explore, and whatever else the prompts throw our way this year.

Stop.

Anita (L) and Jen (R)

Friend (Five Minute Friday)

hello friends. It has been way too long since I shared some words here. I have done a lot of journaling. I make it a practice that if my post shares some specific details about other key folks in my life, I ask them before I post. So I have a lot of thoughts from these past 3 months that live in my journals and not elsewhere out of respect for those decisions.

Tonight I am exhausted from a long and crazy week. I sat down for just a few minutes and Kate's tweet popped up, with the prompt of friend. And then I knew I had to write. Because for me, this five minute friday place is full of a bunch of friends. I've only met a few of them in real life, but they're friends just the same.

And even in the months of absence, they reach out. A tweet or a DM or an email ... how are you, jen ... we miss you around here. It's so nice to feel loved, and missed, even from people I've never actually hugged.

Like an old friend, when you can pick up right where you've left off even months before, this community is here. Loving and smiling and welcoming. So, for this week - hello old friends, it's good to see you and read your words.  Hope you all have a terrific weekend and maybe soon we will see signs of spring emerge from under this latest freaky freeze.

Waving hello from the dusty keyboard in Northern Virginia ....

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This post is a part of Five Minute Friday. Link up with us over at Kate's place and say hello to someone new.

Day 6: YOU

(posting late. Playing catch up tonight).

Dear friends,
YOU are such an integral part of my life. You who love me through hard days and you who hug me when I think I might fall apart. You who laugh with me when things are silly ... or ridiculous. You who love on my kids and welcome them into your hearts. You who call me when I never remember to call you first. You who reach out when you think I've been quiet too long. You who defend me when you think someone is doing something to me that shouldn't be done. You who watch games with me, or movies with me, or do puzzles with me. You who take me out for moms' night out and you who take the kids to give me a mom's night out. You who stop and pray for me and you who ask how you can pray and you who pray for me without even knowing what to pray for. You who send letters and emails and postcards and books. You who make time even when you don't have extra time to give. You who road trip and bus trip and train trip to celebrate events big or small. You who support charity walks and runs year after year. Some of you support with your checkbook and some of you support with your tweets and all of you support with your encouraging words and your hearts and I am thankful for each and every one of you.

I speak often of how it takes a village to raise a kid (or two) but it also takes a village to support a grown up, and I am thankful to have each of you in that village with me.  My world is a better place because of you.

***********

This post is a part of 31 Days of Five Minute Fridays. You can see all posts in the series here. 

Day 1: WALK

We are fortunate to live close enough to my daughters' schools that we can walk to school most days. When they were both in elementary school, all 3 of us walked in the mornings and I listened to the girls each tell me what they were excited for that day and who they would see every morning. A (the little) was  always thinking which of S (the big)'s teachers she would hug. They shared stories and talked about which specials (PE, art, music, etc) they would have that day. Inevitably whichever kid had library was more excited than the other. (I love that they love the library. ALL THE BOOKS.)

This year S is in middle school. School starts later for her, so now the routine is that I walk with A and then home, get S and then walk with her. The conversations in the morning have changed. Still as enlightening for me, but in such a different way. Now that A is not chatting up a storm with big sister, she observes so much more of the surroundings as we walk. Yesterday we noted the "weird" things we saw on the walk - things that did not belong on the sidewalk. A pony tail holder. A splotch of paint.  17 slugs and countless worms "It is WET. So much rain Mama!" We still talk about teachers and specials but we now notice things that we used to just skip past. 

When I get home and collect S and head out the door, I have a whole different conversation. Middle school has been a bit of a tough transition. Now I hear about friends (some new, some old). Thursday I learned about the "end of day routine" - how long it takes to get to her locker, collect her books "ALLLLLL the homework, mom ... sigh" and who she makes sure to visit with before she begins the walk home. Who she walks home with. 

I have come to cherish the walk times because the peek into their worlds on the walk is different than when we are at home. I think in general, conversations are less intense when walking than when sitting at the table or confined to the house. The 1:1 is intimidating sometimes. All that pressure and focus is divided when you walk and talk at the same time, and it's been amazing what they've shared in their mommy-alone time.  Here's hoping we have more dry days than wet so the walks can continue all year long.

**********

This post is a part of 31 Days of Five Minute Fridays. You can see all posts in the series here. 

31 Days of Five Minute Fridays

There's a group of bloggers that write in October every single day. (Write 31 days). And often those writers do a theme for their posts. I learn lots of amazing things from them and I love the commitment to writing. I'm not great at long themed posts - I barely crank out 5 minutes a week most weeks.

Then the Five Minute Friday community thought that maybe a whole month of Five Minute Fridays would be fun. I tried that 2 years ago and wound up sidetracked part way through, but the attempt was fun. So I am going to try again this year.

Welcome to 31 Days of Five  Minute Fridays.   This is the home/ landing page for mine and every day that I managed to write, I will link the post to the word below. 

You can read all the people participating and get more details by going to our host page (thanks Christina!)

Day 1: WALK

Day 2: PAINT

Day 3: WARDROBE

Day 4: BREW

Day 5: SILENCE

Day 6: YOU

Day 7: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT

Day 8: MUDDLE

Day 9: POST-IT

Day 10: UNKNOWN

Day 11: THANKS

Day 12: SKY

Day 13: AWARE

Day 14: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT

Day 15: MOVE

Day 16: LITTLE

Day 17: STUDY

Day 18: NEIGHBOR

Day 19: NOTICE

Day 20: WEEKEND

Day 21: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT

Day 22: OFF

Day 23: BLOWOUT

Day 24: GLOBAL

Day 25: SIGN

Day 26: CONFRONT

Day 27: BOUQUET

Day 28: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT

Day 29: DATE

Day 30: CUT

Day 31: ONLY

Listen (Five Minute Friday)

**9/16/16 - edited to fix the description of good ear vs bad ear and the location of my helper. Short story: helper brings bad ear up to similar level of "good" ear so that I sort of have stereo hearing like most folks.




HA HA HA HA. I am chuckling to myself - out loud - as I see the prompt for this week emerge. Big news in my home this week, and I was debating how widely I would share it. Then the prompt arrived: LISTEN. And I thought - well there's my answer.

This week, I got a hearing aid. I know hearing isn't the same as listening - words can go in one ear and out the other as we wait for our time to respond. People can hear what you say and not process it - not give it credibilty  - and therefore they're really not listening to you.  You can hear and not listen. In fact, that's fairly easy - and common - especially when you're in a hurry, or too many kids are talking at the same time, or there are things to do, or .. or .. or...

BUT - it is much harder to listen if you cannot hear. I've had significant hearing loss in one ear for several years. Onset in my early 20s and progressed after each pregnancy. Until the past year or so, my good ear could bridge the gap in what my bad ear failed to hear. And so, if I positioned myself in a group with the good ear towards the conversation - if I sat close to the people I needed to hear when we were in a crowded setting - if I turned down the TV when the kids were talking to me - then I was doing OK. I could hear the important stuff.

In the last year, the good ear started to worsen. (thanks random genetic condition that no one in my family actually has/had noticeable symptoms other than me, as far as I know...) I had to ask the girls to repeat themselves often. To the point of their frustration and mine. Driving somewhere in the car was awful, as the road noise filled the "good" ear and the kids had to shout from the back seat. They sometimes even gave up trying to get me to understand them, as the repeating was tiresome. We finally resorted to ... stop, come to mommy and look me in the eyes so I can watch your mouth while you talk." Not fun, right? Terrible when driving. Horrible when outside in the yard.

So, I decided that turning 40 was my cue to finally do something about it. I now have a wonderful (and very small! You might not notice it, if I didn't even point it out!) helper. It assists the "bad" ear back to a level that it hasn't known in some time. So the "good" ear doesn't have to work so hard - and so I hear stuff on both sides. And when I came home with my helper on Tuesday, I noticed a difference right away. The girls can be behind me and I can hear them. Whispers - I can hear them! We watched TV (the Nats were on) and instead of the volume up so loud that the kids can hardly tolerate it and I could barely hear it (17-20 on the dial) we can watch the game on level 6!!! The girls turned on the TV and started to raise the sound, and I had to say TURN IT DOWN. They were thrilled. Dinner conversation has been easier. We can talk when driving to soccer practice. (There's even a special program in my helper to extra dampen the road noise so the kids can talk in normal volumes in the car).

I hear keys clacking on a keyboard. Water boiling on the stove. Plastic bags rustling in the pantry. Sounds I had forgotten even existed.  I can watch a movie and not have to sit 2 inches from the TV to be able to keep the sound at a level that doesn't wake the girls after bedtime. It is remarkable how much I was missing and didn't even know, as I've been used to life without it for so long.

For the first time in years, the girls feel like I am available to listen to everything they want to share - because they, and I, no longer have to work so hard at the hearing part.

--------------------
Linking with Kate and the Five Minute Friday crew ... join us here.

Grow (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to Five Minute Friday (which seldom happens on Friday for me) where we get a prompt from Kate, write for 5 minutes on whatever it is (edit free - my favorite part because typos are allowed) and then link up (here) and share our writing and encourage others writing in the community.

GROW

(note: I started this post twice. Once on Thursday night and again on Friday. Each time I made it one sentence before something needed my attention and I didn't even manage to squeeze in 5 minutes. So ... third time is a charm?)

We had 2 days of sunshine in a row. HOORAY - we are tired of stereotypical Pacific northwest weather around these parts. 17 days in a row was enough, thank you very much. Except it returns tomorrow. SIGH.

Rain is so needed - to help the plants grow, to help the pollen get out of the air (you are welcome allergy sufferers), to keep the creeks full and the fish happy and such. And yet, too much rain can ruin the very things it is trying to help. Trees get soggy roots and the ground is soft and then they fall over. Creeks flood and the fish are out of the banks and then when the waters recede, the fish can be stranded. Unless someone comes along to put the fish back, it could wither and die on the bank.

And so I've been thinking about how it is with people. Experiences and circumstances help us to grow - moving to a new place, or starting a new job, or even having an argument with a friend. A little at a time, even a steady diet of growth is useful and teaches much. But if you get too much - if you get a monsoon, or a flood, then sometimes the things that keep you grounded come unglued. Your patience for handling conflict - it snaps and then you say words you regret. And then when the rain clears, you are caught like the fish - in the dry pocket. No apparent way back.

If you're lucky, someone will come along and pick you back up - toss you back in the stream and you can swim again.

Today, I had the chance to reflect. Some dear friends of mine have been my "fish rescue squad" and I am thankful that they could bridge the gap from my dry landing zone and whooosh me back into the stream for my next adventure.

STOP.

Whole (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to another edition of Five Minute Friday: the online blogging community where we get a prompt, write for 5 minutes flat (no edits / no backtracking) and then link up together and encourage the others who write alongside us.

Join  us here at Kate's place.

This week, the prompt is WHOLE.

We have been waiting the whole offseason for this: the return of baseball to our town. The Nationals opened Monday on the road in Atlanta and Thursday afternoon at home here in DC. The countdown has been on since the season ended.

We had the perfect storm of everything on Thursday tryin to derail our game plans. This mama and my 2 girls would have none of that. We were GOING to get to this game. We had to leave later than we planned because A had her school performance that day. They do 2 shows during the school day (she did both) and one for parents at night (I went to the afternoon show and we skipped the night one. Her dad was away and I videoed it and it did not count for her grade in the evening). So on we go to baseball .

First adventure: TRAFFIC.  We were stopped awhile so I got this lovely shot of the Washington monument. We drive by it on the way to nearly every game. usually traffic is moving so we only see it. But this day we got to park. And photograph while we waited. 

We normally arrive WELL BEFORE the game, so we can see the opening day festivities. there was a flyover (we saw it standing in line at the gates to get in). There was a big flag on the field (friends got lovely photos). The Clydesdales were there (the kids don't even know this, because I didn't want the whining that they missed it). BUT: we made it to our seats before first pitch. I will count that as a WIN.

the view as we waited for the teams to take the field

 We had 1 1/2 innings of crazy. Marlins jumped out to 3-0 lead. Nats tied it up in bottom of the first (thank you Daniel Murphy). Then after 1 1/2 innings the skies opened up. Downpour. Hail. So fun. (not really. except we made it that way). We scrambled for cover ... the girls chose the landing zone. The bathroom. Of course. There was space ... and we were not *in a stall* - there is room to hang out. Of course we had just gotten our dinner, so yes, we ate pizza in the bathroom. It was dry, we were safe, the pizza was delicious and some friends came to hang with us in the bathroom. (Of course the ladies room, so some other friends were disappointed that they could not join us. I will plan better next time. Of course, we would rather not have a rain delay, but anyway...)

Then we came out and hung out under an overhang with some more friends and then the skies behind the park started to clear. And we were treated to a beautiful rainbow. A loved it so much she would not even turn around to smile for the photo. She had a point...

The grounds crew cleared the tarp and got the field ready to resume the game. And the skies cleared and the runs resumed, and the night grew cold. The Marlins were ahead 6-3 and then Bryce Harper hit a HR and it was 6-4. Somewhere in there we got ice cream, even though it was about 25 degrees colder than when the game had started (because when you have waited since October for ice cream at the ball park and you are a kid ... you get the ice cream anyway) 

after the storm

being silly (AKA how we roll all the time)

then it drizzled some more. and was windy. and the kids were TIRED

 The game went on, later than planned (thanks rain) and the kids grew tired. A (the little one) started begging to go home. S said "mama, we stay the WHOLE game. And she's right ... 95% of the time we stay for the whole game. But little sister was exhausted from her day, and it was well past bedtime at the end of the 7th inning ... and look at this face.  So we left, much to S's chagrin.

But, just before we headed out, an old friend from my Vanderbilt band days stopped by ... 20 years later we are still repping our school with pride, and enjoying our newly shared love of the Nats as well.

While we didn't make the whole game, we had a whole day's worth of fun packed into the time we had. And we will be back Saturday ... and many days after that. Because the season is new and we have a whole summer of fun ahead of us.

Surprise (Five Minute Friday)

Time to pause for 5 minutes and share ... 5 minutes on SURPRISE.

My girls left last weekend for spring break. 10 days with some combination of daddy, stepmom, grandma, and grandpa... and zero days with mom. 10 days is a long time and I miss them something fierce. Tonight is night 7 and I am thankful that we are almost at the end.

My oldest, S, had run back into the house before we went to school in the morning and then as we walked she made sure to tell me:

S: mom. will you go to the bathroom today?
me: umm, yes. I go every day? Don't you?
S: yes. but mom. you need to go to your bathroom. up all the stairs to your room.
me: why that one?
S: there is a SURPRISE for you mom. On the counter. Make sure to check on the floor in case the kitties moved it
me: ok ...
S: you will see mom. It will be easy to tell.

Dropped the kids off, and then made sure to visit that particular bathroom when I got home. Sure enough, on the counter was her new bracelet - that she'd gotten that week from Nana for a St. Patrick's Day trinket. With it was a note:

dear mom: please wear this bracelet every day we are gone. We will miss you a lot and this way you can remember us every day during spring break. I love you, Love, S

And so, as we approach the end of Day 7, I am thankful for a bright green elephant bracelet, and kids to miss, and that they miss me and make the time to know that this is hard but OK when we are apart.



Linking up with Kate and the Five Minute Friday crowd here. Join us. We'd love to share the community with you.

Share (Five Minute Friday)

(The five minute friday rules: write, unedited, for 5 minutes. link with the group at Kate's place (see bottom), and then read the post before yours and leave some encouragement for a fellow writer. Join us!)

 
Go.
I got some news last week that made me sad. Made my heart hurt. And then later on I read some news articles about the election. And those, too, made my heart hurt. There is a lot of hate and anger and negative energy and name calling happening. I grew up around politics. People used to hold protests in my front yard for crying out loud. The disagreements go back as far as the existence of people really. But I don't recall (granted, I am only 39) this level of flat out ridiculousness.

And so with this week's prompt I am going to share some thoughts.

Just because you and I don't support the same candidate does not make one of us right and the other one wrong. We can disagree and still have a healthy dialogue - about issues, about choices, about candidates, about the direction in which we should go. And at the end of the day , we can still be friends.  Different perspectives is part of what makes the world better. If everyone had the same opinion about everything life would be dreadfully boring. There would be nothing to talk about.

BUT ... talk. Discuss. No need to yell, shout, threaten, and belittle. I am trying to teach my kids to do better with this, and I need to do better with this, and in fact everyone needs to do better with this. You don't need to convince me to join your side. And if you do, or if you even want to try, here's a little hint: yelling at me isn't going to do it.

Unrelated to politics, but very related to talking: sharing is part of what we are all here for. Grieving: call a friend and share a cry. Get terrific news: call a friend and share your squeals of delight. Have a hard day - don't isolate yourself. There are people who will listen. Whether it's listening to you talk about whatever happened, or listening to you talk about anything but what happened. Or go, sit with someone, cry on their shoulder or get a hug and just sit in silence together. Something. Anything. Find a place to share ... because if you try to walk through life 100% alone, eventually something (big ... or small ... or small but it feels big because you can't see around/past/through it) will hit you that you can't do alone. Can't face alone. Or just can't bear to think about alone. When that time comes, I pray you have someone to share with, or someone to talk too. There's a hotline. There are people ... friends, neighbors. co workers. counselors. family.

Find someone. Share something. Call for help. Someone will be there.

Stop.

Resources for help

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Or go here and click to chat.

Someone is there, ready and waiting to help you.



Sharing as a part of the Five Minute Friday community hosted by Kate. Join us there every week.

Present (Five Minute Friday)

It's been nearly a month. I have missed writing. I have had a few Thursdays of crazy, however, every day hasn't been crazy ... so I could have made time. I didn't. Shrug. It happens.

Anyway, I will squeak in just under the deadline here, with last week's post on PRESENT.

(For a refresher, the rules of FMF are
1. Write on the word of the week: 5 minutes, no editing, typos allowed and encouraged
2. Link with the rest of the FMF community over at Kate's place
3. Visit and comment on the post of the one who linked before you. (and if you are an on time poster ... ha, not my strong point, consider coming back later in the week to love on the ones who post late. like me).


PRESENT

Go.
Last week we got hit with a monster snowstorm. Blizzard. Call it whatever you want. We've been in a mess for 6 days now. It started Friday at noon and didn't stop snowing until Saturday after I went to bed. 35 inches later (no, that is not a typo), the big dig out began. School is out. Until next Monday. (my brain cells are diminishing by the day ... we finally managed to get out of the neighborhood today. For the first time in a week).

neighbor 1 and his little playing on our path

In the midst of the storm ... I received 3 lovely presents. The first: a gift from my neighbor on the right. I shoveled before I went to bed Friday, but then while I slept the wind howled and the snow piled up. By Saturday morning, my front door was snowed in. With the storm door, I never would have been able to get out. He graciously came out and while clearing his sidewalk and steps, he came all the way to mine and dug me out. I am so thankful for the time he spent to make sure I could get out safely.

The second: more time from that neighbor AND time from the neighbor 3 doors down. Our townhouses have a yard behind them, and then a garage behind that. The garage door (the car entrance side) opens on to an alley. An alley which didn't get plowed until Tuesday at 10pm. Remember the 35 inches of snow I mentioned?  My wonderful sweet neighbors (after shoveling their own garages out) joined me Sunday afternoon and helped me clear mine. Shoveled right down to the pavement (WOOT!).  That was A LOT of snow to move, but with their help we managed it in just a couple of hours.

The third: my neighbor on the left. He recently had cataract surgery. We all took turns shoveling out his steps and sidewalk since he could not. He came over Monday  afternoon when the roads finally had *a little* progress and asked if we needed anything. What a blessing for him to return with a gallon of milk for us. Could we have survived a few more days without any more milk? Sure. But did it make it a million times easier to have some? Absolutely.

So ... in the midst of the crazy ... I am thankful for the present of wonderful neighbors. Folks who band together and help each other out. Kindness goes a long way.

Stop.

(Photos from the crazy).

not the final measurement. GOOD GRIEF

streets were untouched for days

the picket fence down the block (Saturday night)

my garage Sunday (before)

neighbor  2 helping

the garage AFTER (neighbor 1 and both his littles)

the pharmacy parking lot . we walked and then climbed it 

we also built snowmen. Life sized for all of us.

and we made a dugout with the help of another neighbor

and played snow baseball. because ... 21 days until pitchers and catchers, my friends!

Learn (Five Minute Friday)

The end of this summer marks the completion of 6 full years of walking the single parent road. The separation / divorce I didn’t ask for is now just a part of my life. Last week I had the opportunity to learn just how far I’ve come in that time. 

It used to hurt when people asked what happened. I dreaded being asked “where is your husband?” I cringed when someone asked the girls why their daddy wasn’t with us. But slowly the pain has faded. I no longer fear being asked. 

And this was made evident last week. A friend’s daughter asked, as kids often do, “where are S&A?” when I was at an event alone. I replied “they’re with their dad today and I get to pick them up tonight.” She responded “Oh.” Then she was quiet a minute. Then she asked “Wait. Are they all at your house waiting for you?”  I continued: “No, they’re at their dad’s house. They come back to my house tonight.” And then she asked “Does their dad not live with you?”  me: “no, he lives with their stepmom and little brother.” Her: “Wait. They have a brother and he is not your baby?” Me: “Correct.”  Her: “What, does their dad not like you anymore?”  (Her dad interjects here to try and get her to stop with all the questions.  I said it was ok to continue)  Me: “yeah, I think he didn’t like me too much any more”.  Her: “that’s dumb.  You and S & A are fun.” <end conversation>

A few years ago – not too many years ago , in fact – this would have upset me a lot. I could have probably held it together and managed to sneak away before bursting into tears. In the first few years, I would not have even made it through half of that exchange before I would have excused myself. But last week? It was OK. Kids just ask what they are thinking and wondering, and just call it like they see it. They don’t intend to hurt, usually. And I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I wasn’t phased by the conversation at all. Sure, it’s still a little pang, as the circumstances by which my ex “decided he didn’t like me anymore” are rather lousy. But, gone are the days of this making me an emotional train wreck. So, thanks my little friend, for showing me that it really is ok to talk about it – all of it – and that my heart is back in one piece.

Posting as a part of Five Minute Friday. You can read the posts on the prompt “Learn” here at Kate’s place. (I am a week late so the link up isn’t open). The link up for this week coming soon J

Favorite (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to Five Minute Friday where I write on the wrong day of the week about the prompt provided by Kate - and then link with all the folks who wrote on time to share our thoughts. Five minutes, raw and unedited.

This week the word is FAVORITE. And while I will still pour my heart out for a few, I might not stop at 5 minutes this time. Because I want to tell you about my favorite baseball player.

Lots of my friends love baseball. Lots of people love baseball. Some have favorite players and some don't. And reasons people pick their favorite are as varied as the people who walk the face of the earth. Some like players who hit, or ones who throw untouchable fast balls. Some like players with personality, pizzazz, or ones who choose particular walk up music. There are folks who like players for their good looks or for where they played college ball, or just because they're on a particular team.

My favorite player is liked for a lot of reasons by many people. For me, it's his heart. Ian Desmond, shortstop for the Washington Nationals has the biggest heart of any baseball player I know. Last year Ian led a campaign to raise money for the Children's Tumor Foundation. (I wrote about that here. And in that post are links to all the back story of Ian's friendship with Ethan and how everything got started. Hop over and have a read).

It could have stopped there. The campaign raised over $30,000 and that is amazing. But Ian did it because he cares about the cause. Because Ethan is his friend, and like a little brother. I've become friends with Ethan and his family as well, and this whole year I've seen posts about the time Ian makes to check in and see how things are. To make sure Ethan has what he needs - to offer advice about girls, and to offer advice about friendships, and to offer wise counsel about where to study in Scripture.

And it could stop there. But it doesn't. Last week I organized an outing to a Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta. We did it through the Georgia chapter of the Children's Tumor Foundation. The Braves were gracious hosts and made sure we could get our seats in the shade, with wheelchair access if needed. We had a group of 17 people come to the game. A few of us flew down from DC. Some drove in from South Carolina and Alabama. And a few were Atlanta locals.

I reached out to Ian and let him know we were trying to get a group together. And Ian, with the Nationals, hosted us at batting practice before the game. Every single person in our group was able to get down on the field to watch BP. Ethan and his family joined us, too. 21 people in the BP crowd. But it doesn't even stop there.

Ian came out onto the field well before the Nationals were even due out to warm up. He came over to our group. He took photos with us, signed balls and programs, for way more people than he should have had to. But more than photos and signing, he took time with us. He stopped to visit with all the folks in our group. He engaged the kids and talked with them. Not cursory hellos, but thoughtful conversation. "What's happening. What's your name. (and then he used their names for the rest of the conversations). How are you. Do you have NF1 or NF2. Tell me your story.  Tell me about your family." And on and on.

Great to see this group from @ChildrensTumor, guests of Ian Desmond, rocking Curly W's here in Atlanta! #Nats #EndNF pic.twitter.com/vFNBNYmwlE

— Washington Nationals (@Nationals) June 30, 2015

The time Ian devotes to people - to investing in them. To making them feel special and important and welcome. To understanding what they are facing and making them feel included. THIS is what I love about Ian and this is why he is my favorite baseball player. We are lucky to have a role model on this team who puts his faith and his heart into action, and who shares that willingly and openly with the community. Because of how Ian speaks of Ethan and his heart to EndNF with the guys on the team, others on the team, including Bryce Harper and Dan Uggla, came over to say hello and visit as well.

Thank you, Ian, for making our group feel loved. For using your name to give a voice to a cause that needs more spokespeople, and for sharing your heart to #EndNF in Washington. (and Atlanta). (and across the world).

On behalf of all the folks who came out to the game last week: from the bottom of our hearts, thank you.



a few pictures from the evening are below.