The Slippers (Behind The Scenes)

Welcome to behind the scenes, where life really happens. Snap, and share, that cute picture:  but you don't see all the ... mess, chaos, fun, disaster ... that happened around the actual picture moment.  You can visit Crystal and friends over here to learn more, and to read some other adventures about life lived behind the scenes.

This week, the photo is from our Christmas adventures in Jersey with my family.

The photo:

The story: Those slippers are ones where the ears stick up every time you take a step. If you put your heel down just the right way. My mom loves cute slippers. My girls have their love of slippers from their Nana. These are the favorites. Brand new, under Nana's tree and they wore them ALL. DAY. LONG. With dresses and PJs. For playing and naptime.


And because it takes a little work to get those ears to stick up, instead of the quiet feet that slippers normally bring, these are LOUD FEET STOMPING slippers.
"Mama, look at this!" *stomp, stomp*
"Uncle Jeff, did you see what I drew? I will come show you!" *stomp, stomp*
"Grampy, can you read me a story? I will bring you the book." *stomp, stomp*
"OK, time for resting time..." *stomp, stomp, stomp* ... up 13 steps ... both kids ... *stomp, stomp*

and we loved every minute of it.

See (Five Minute Friday)

New year, still late to the posting party. Life just gets in the way. It's ok.

Welcome to the (late) edition of Five Minute Friday. Join me in the crowd of writers over at Lisa-Jo's place. Time well spent.

The rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Go.

When you see me, what do you see? As I ponder this, I wonder - what do I want you to see? Do I hide what you most need to see. Do I cover up the parts that make the story of my life the amazement that it is?

For you can surely see the smiles, the laughter. But have you seen the sadness and the tears? I know you can see the joy - the after. But have you seen the broken? The before? The wonder of my life, and where I am now, is not just because of what it looks like today. It's the healing that has come after the hurt. If you don't know where I've been, you can't fully appreciate where I am now. If I don't let you see the past - perhaps not every ugly detail (because who really wants all that? I don't even want to relive a lot of it) - but at least the broad brush strokes of what was - then how can I expect, or even hope, for you to see the joy of the here and now?

And so it is with my journey - not just the destination, but the path towards it. For it's on the day by day steps where we can see the growth - the change - the recovery - the healing. And when I look back, if you've been able to see the whole thing, then I think you just might be a little closer to seeing who I am.

Stop.

An Open Letter to Vandy Nation

Dear Vandy Nation:

I'm embarrassed and disappointed in the way some of you have acted over the last 2 weeks.

I'm a proud Vanderbilt alumna, and I fly our flag and proclaim my blood of black and gold far and wide. I graduated in 1998 so I'm part of the class that saw 3 football coaches within my 4 years as a student.

I believe in our school and our team. I've cheered through many a lean year and many a 2 win season, and I've been delighted in the huge strides our team has made under Coach Franklin. I believe in following through on commitments, but I also know that sometimes choices and opportunities present themselves, and then plans change. Life happens.

What should NOT change is one's character.  Integrity? Honor? Yes, these should remain even in the face of hard choices.

I can't speak to Coach Franklin's choice to leave us for PSU other than to say he believes it is right for his family. I can't speak to our recruiting class members' choices. Some may stay with us. They believe in Vanderbilt and what we can offer. To those recruits, I'm thankful you've decided to stay. I've not regretted for one second the choice I made to pursue my education at Vanderbilt. Some recruits may choose to follow Coach Franklin to PSU, or to choose another school altogether. To you, I wish you the best with your choice. It's one of the biggest decisions you will ever make - I hope it is the right one for you.

But to you, Vandy Nation.... The alumni and fans who make us what we are, take heed. Before you throw Coach Franklin's words "men of honor" back in his face, consider how you do that. Consider how you interact with our recruits. Consider how you interact with the media. Consider how you interact with the nation.

When you tweet flaming words of anger and hatred, are YOU acting like the "man of honor" you are so blatantly accusing those others of not being? I'm not sure you are. There are lots of ways to express your displeasure without being rude. There are lots of ways to wear the chip on your shoulder without being hateful.

I've got that chip, too. I believe in our school and this program. I believe in Vandy Nation. But I also believe in showing grace, in treating people first like human beings. Respecting their feelings  and their choices. Recognizing that while they may not show their honor by staying where they made a commitment, that doesn't mean I should ever lay mine aside. Even if it is to tell them just that.

Man Up. And Anchor Down.

Jen Kamin Underwood
Class of 1998

Fight (Five Minute Friday)

Once a week, I join this fantastic group of brave writers for a 5 minute writers' flash mob. We get a prompt. We write. We share. We link. We love on each other. It's fun.

I get behind. Some weeks I miss altogether. Some weeks I write right at midnight. Whatever works. It's not about being just right. It's about just writing.

So this week I will write last week's post, miss the link up (because it closed 15 minutes ago), and then I will write again at midnight for the new word. Because tonight I have the energy of a toddler after eating a bag of m-n-m's.

The rules are simple.
1. set your timer, and write for 5 minutes flat. No editing, back-tracking, or overthinking.
2. Link up (yeah, not happening when I am this late)
3. Leave a comment for the one who linked before you. And maybe some others, too. It's all about the community here. Get into that.

Go.

Fight seems a pretty bold word to start off the new year. I'm headed on a journey this year, and fight doesn't seem to fit. At first. Then I realize - I am going to have to fight EVERY day to do this journey. To be deliberate where I spend my time. Fight against the media pull. The social media pull. The "I don't know if my coach is leaving or staying and why can't someone tell me and why isn't there news and why are there 5 million tweets about there not being any news." Fight to get out of all that mess. And just get where I need to be. So tonight, I let the kids stay up a few minutes late. And we read one extra Christmas story - a new one. "The Snow Angel". And right in there I saw myself. And my kids. So I will fight tonight, and every night, to make that time with them. And be thankful for it.

Stop.

Journey

Looking forward to 2014 - it's time to choose a new word for my OneWord365 adventure.

2012 was the year of brave - and I did a lot of things for the very first time, and a lot of things I would never have attempted had that word not been staring me down every morning. 

2013 was the year of grace - and that challenged my heart, my emotions, my attitude every single day. Some days more than others.

2014 - well, I had a word picked out. But I didn't announce it. I had a plan, and the word aligned with the plan and it tied up neatly in a bow. And then it hit me ... the word I was really supposed to use. So out with the plan, and in with the word that's going to drive me this year. Journey. It's not about where I am going. It's not about the end destination - the plan - the tied up neatly in a bow conclusion. It's HOW I go. It's being intentional along the way - stop and smell the roses; don't drum your fingers in impatience at the red light, because maybe you needed to see the lady with 3 little kids and a flat tire on the side of the road. 

As I start 2014, it's going to be a new chapter - a new leg - in the journey through this life, and this time, I'm going to look more at the journey itself, rather than being tunnel visioned toward the end of the trip.

Looking forward to the new adventures it brings.

PS, if you want to choose your own word, it's not too late - just pop over here, give it a look, and pick out the One Word that can change it all.

Grace ... A Year in Review

2013 marks my second year of participation in One Word 365. I've never been fantastic about New Year's Resolutions - making OR keeping them. But the idea of choosing a word - just one word - and considering it all year long, is something that resonated with me.

So how was the year of grace? My ex-husband's new wife came to church with us. More than once. (My kiddos have wonderful hearts to share the news of The Gospel with folks).  And I not only survived, I actually had some conversations with her. It's only small talk, but in a world of a whole lot of hurt, small talk without tears from me was a huge step, and only possible through grace.  We had a few more interactions this year, and while still not easy (I doubt it will ever be easy), I can say for certain that having an attitude up front that I would be gracious and kind to her did make it easier. At least no tears, and the anger is gone. It's amazing how grace - coupled with time - can bring healing.

And I changed my approach with my kids. Deliberately. I think I've mostly been a pretty good mama thus far, even tackling almost all of the parenting totally on my own. But still, I saw things in me I didn't want them to know. Things I didn't want them to learn. And with grace in the front of my choices, I see this changing now - for the better. I'll call that a win.

I also tried to blog this year - at least through Five Minute Friday - which makes my brain do a little grown up, non work related thinking. I intended to do it every. single. week. (HA HA ... intentions gone awry). And then I tried to catch up when I missed. And "do better" the next week. But here's what I found. When I gave myself grace on the weeks I couldn't didn't make time to write, then the thoughts flowed more freely the next time I did sit down. And it turned into something I loved - something I looked forward to each week, instead of the almost dread I felt at the beginning. So I missed a few weeks, but I found a joy in writing - reflecting - that I didn't know I had. I'll call that a win, too.

So as I end another year, reflecting back on where I've been, I will say that grace transformed a whole lot of "could have been really bad" into a whole lot of "what an amazing opportunity". The word popped up everywhere to remind me, and there were a few days where I had to dig deep - spend a lot more time on my knees to find it - but it was ALWAYS there. And lest we end the year without one last reminder of grace, this was in the Christmas bag my girls gave to me.

Looks like a little grace goes a long way toward impacting other people, too. 

Tree (Five Minute Friday)

Catching up. On Fridays we write for 5 minutes. Raw. Then link up with some others and leave a little love.

This week (well, should be for last week) we get to write on "TREE".

Go.

Trees in the fall are my favorite. Vibrant with color, and every one a little different. Catch them in the sunshine and it's a glorious sight to behold. Then a wind storm come through. Or a rain storm. and WHOOSH. All the leaves dropped to the ground in an instant. The tree is bare. And ready to rest through the winter. Dormant. Waiting. For spring when the leaves sprout and give us the beauty of a new beginning. A fresh start.

Hmmm... where has my real life done just that same thing. I'm living through the spring in my heart. After a 4 year winter.

Stop.