One Word 365 Roundup (2024)

Dusting off this blog - at least for one post this year - seeing as how I didn't even do the 2023 roundup. I will get back to that... maybe... eventually.

But it seems fitting that as I wrap the year of connection, I reconnect here for that, and look forward to where next year is leading. Connection did not go AT ALL how I had thought it might. (Though I should not be surprised. Often my words lead me down paths I never expected). I had intended connection to be a year of writing a lot of letters, catching up with friendships I'd neglected recently, or for a long while, and fostering some better relationships with my kiddos. (This last part went ok, I think!) 

Instead, most of the year was spent working through two specific connections. One, where the end result is we let it fade. I've come to terms that the friendship was strong for a season but the season has ended, and that's ok. Friendship is hard, even at nearly 50, and working through the feelings of letting go is never easy. On the other side of a long year of reaching back for it, and re-learning that the ending of things is not always personal - sometime things just are, or need to be that way for unknown reasons - I am finally OK in this space. Grateful for the time we had. Forging forward with others. As I grappled, I was reminded through conversations with my girls... "mom, if this was my friendship I was describing to you... what would you tell me?"  And that perspective is just what I needed to finally let it go. 

The second was completely unexpected. Long ago, my ex and I split, and my girls gained a stepmom. Over the last 15 years, we worked hard with our unusual family to build a co-parenting situation that met the needs of the girls and made them feel fully loved despite our split homes and all the baggage that came with them. We got along fine, and I would even have said prior to this year, that we'd progressed beyond the space of only co-parents to some loose definition of casual friends. Not at all deep confidants, but more than just a hello at the grocery store type thing. 15 years of build a family will do that, and I've treasured how we've put all the "family creation" circumstances behind us and just made it work. Due to other things happening this year, our relationship took a turn, down the deep friendship path. Shared experiences, and a shared love of the girls and our commitment to show them how love works when people value each other, has solidified our now even more unusual family.  Current status: 2 moms, 3 kids, and 2 homes where all those kids are loved and know they are welcome any time. Different than what any of us would have said in January, but as we enter the flip side of this year, I think we both would say that this connection pulled us through to the brighter days ahead.

And as I reflect on the connections where my time was spent in particular, I feel that the work I had planned to do this year is left waiting to be done. And still should be done, and I feel called to continue what I had intended. Which leads me to the word of 2025. "Thread".  A repeat of connection didn't feel right, but as I think about how threads weave together to strengthen things, or can be tugged upon to unravel other things, perhaps that is exactly how this focus should look. Weaving growth and strength into places of neglect, and pulling a little to help the things that can depart fully be released without regret. 

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**My OneWord365 History**

2012 - brave
2013 - grace
2014 - journey
2015 - wait
2016 - pursue
2017 - raw
2018 - listen
2019 - balance
2020 - enough
2021 - YES, AND

2022 - EMBRACE

2023 - soften

2024 - connection

2025 - thread

One Word 365 Roundup (2022)

We've reached the end of 2022. One year later, one more post. It's time to reflect on how things went this year - and look ahead to what 2023's focus will be.

In this year, my OneWord365 focus was EMBRACE. Embracing all the change ahead, whatever every new day brought my way. I continued my walk the year adventures. While I did not match last year's 3,006 miles, nor achieve either of my target date goals (2022 by my birthday; W&OD end to end in a day), I did get to 2022 (Oct 13, so a month and 10 days after plan), and I did figure out why my goal of the W&OD in a day didn't work. (The W&OD is Washington & Old Dominion Trail - a rail to trail path here. It is 45 miles from end to end. The distance isn't the problem, the training isn't the problem. The target of a weekend day when it was warm enough (but not hot) and daylight for long enough isn't a thing. Soccer games, lacrosse games, field hockey games. And that's just my parent challenge. Add basketball, lacrosse, band, soccer, swim, (and other things I am forgetting) for my walker partner kiddos... it's not happening. Mid summer brings (the occasional) free Saturday, but July out here would make us melt in the humidity. Not a good plan. 

On a walk today, it finally occurred to us that we need to do it on a weekday (when the trail is less crowded and the kids stuff is after school so they can sort of self transport or we can get them carpooled). April or May, or maybe September. Before the sunlight also wipes us out. With a coordinated, planned PTO day, I think this year we can make it happen. We shall try again. In the meantime, I embraced the reality that the goals I had set weren't going to happen as I had envisioned, and I dismissed any notion of guilt about it. Other things were more important, and realizing that was a key to this year. 

S, my oldest, is now 17, nearly halfway through her senior year - and what a ride it has been. She is awaiting college acceptance info. She jumped into that challenging arena with two feet and has fully owned the process. It has been my joy and delight to support her through the process. Support has looked like listening to ideas, accompanying her on tours, asking the occasional question, and cheering her on as each application has gone out the door. She's got great choices ahead of her. Now I am embracing the art of waiting (2015 was good practice for this) while the acceptance information comes in and then the art of listening as she reasons through to the landing place. My prayer is that she finds a place that she loves as much as it loves her back - where she can grow, learn, and thrive. 

A, my youngest, is now 14. She has started high school, stepped up into a leadership role on her travel soccer team and is currently in the middle of winter track season - a new sport for her. Embrace, for me, in this, looks like showing up for meets (and trying to understand the ... loosely organized chaos), cheering her on, a whole new schedule of practice pickups, and a new set of terminology. 

Watching both the girls grow, learn, work through challenges, while mama cheers from the sideline, and listens when asked, advises (mostly when asked, though they would tell you I also still do it occasionally when NOT asked - this plays right into my 2023 word), and hugs them through all of it. 

My dear friend Erika and I embraced a challenge this year - a girls only trip to Mallorca, where we hiked a good part of the GR221, met some amazing people, spent 10 days together away from our families, and connected like we haven't had a chance to since we graduated. 10 days away from work was a challenge. I have a wonderful team - they did an amazing job. I didn't check in, I didn't check email, I embraced the full brain break from work focus for the first time in I cannot remember how long. It was necessary, it was refreshing. Big win. 

And as we reached the end of this year, I embraced the need for a change in my physical health. Due to a long and twisty journey, this year ended with me having a full hysterectomy on December 8. I have been off work since then (will return in Jan) and fully focused on recovery and healing. There is work yet to be done here, however I am pleased to report that I am feeling AMAZING and so many of the challenges I was facing these last few years are already gone. I am back up and walking my regular distance most days, albeit at a slower pace for now, and can see so much improvement. I have also watched a lot of terrible TV, some terrific TV, read a pile of books, and been very mindful to focus on resting. The girls, neighbors, and friends all stepped up to make this work. 

The last thing I embraced this year was the ask from the kids to get our Christmas cards out on time (instead of for New Year's) and I am delighted to report 100% success on that. They even (mostly) ARRIVED before Christmas. A win!

As this year draws to a close, that takes me to thoughts of what comes next. While this year has been about embracing all the lasts (as S prepares to graduate) and the firsts (as A starts her HS journey), next year promises more - so much more - of the same. 6 months until graduation. 8 months until she starts the next chapter somewhere else. And A and I figure out what it looks like with only one kiddo here. How do we let go and let them grow, and yet hold tight and catch all the memories in the making? How do we celebrate the wins and also grow, learn, and give space for others to do the same? How do we do all of that while still remembering grace, kindness, and love come above all the other things?

That is where my word of the year comes in. 2023 is the year of "soften". Hold them close, but not TOO close. Teach and guide them, but gently, softly, where they can step up and do the doing on their own. Hold hands, cheer, support. But don't drag them through. Encourage rather than dictate. Celebrate without overwhelming. Love without smothering. Make the memories and allow them to make some on their own, too. Be there, but sometimes be the silent supporter. Let them shine, let them grow, love them through it all, and reflect it back. I contemplated "relinquish" and "release" as other options, but those sounded too harsh for the mission here. Not letting go of all the things - not hands off or shoving away. Rather gentle shaping around the edges, holding space for all of it. Cupping my hands to shield from the wind gusts as the first one looks to leave the nest, and as the second one starts to stretch her wings. A safe space to launch, and a soft space for landing when they come back.  

Soften - here we go.

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**My OneWord365 History**

2012 - brave
2013 - grace
2014 - journey
2015 - wait
2016 - pursue
2017 - raw
2018 - listen
2019 - balance
2020 - enough
2021 - YES, AND

2022 - EMBRACE

2023 - soften

One Word 365 Roundup (2021)

One year (and a few days) later, I am right back here. Haven't written (here, anyway) since the last post, and maybe that looks different next year - we shall see. It is time, however, for the OneWord365 review, and the launching off point for the word of 2022.

At the bottom, you can see my full OneWord365 journey. It's been an adventure. This year brings the 11th time I am focusing on one word, rather than a pile of resolutions, and I am grateful for the growth each word has brought in its own time. 

Some have brought habits that have continued (example, the sink tweets that started with RAW in 2017, and are still here), and some have served their purpose well but are no longer in the forefront of my decisions. That's how it works, I think - some things stick and some things move along. 

Checking in on 2021, the year of YES, AND. There's enough binary decision making going on in the world, that the perspective of multiple things being true at the same time was much needed.

A few specific things I tackled: 

1. "RunTheYear".  My friend Leslie decided she needed to get moving with a goal this year. She texted to tell me about it, and I decided some focus would be great. but 2021 miles in a year??  Uhhh. Hard.  I said YES it is hard, AND I will try anyway. Signed up at Run The Edge (link in case you want to try with us). Please note, there is not much running happening here. There is a lot of walking! We added my friend Anna, who it turns out had been doing this challenge for several years already. Headed out on Jan 1, got started, and hit the first goal (2021 miles!) in September. Then a friend, who shall remain publicly nameless, challenged me to 3,000 miles by the end of the year. YES that is bananas. AND I went for it anyway. Crossed 3,000 yesterday (good grief that was a lot of miles) and have rounded out this year with 3,006. YES, I signed up for next year. Changed the goals a little; this is a mission I am keeping.

3006 miles total. Photo from a walk in the North Carolina mountains this summer.

2. Saying farewell to the Bob Feller Act of Valor Award Foundation. I feel so grateful to have been able to volunteer with this organization for the last 7 years, several of which included time on the Board of Directors. YES, I love the people, the work, and the mission.  AND with much reflection and prayer, it is time for someone else to step in and continue. I will miss everyone a lot. I still plan to show up for their events. It's still time for others to lead, and I know they will do an amazing job. I look forward to seeing where they take it!

3. Planning for a trip (scheduled for spring 2022). YES covid is still here, making things a challenge, wreaking havoc on plans. AND my bestie and I are targeting a girls' trip, to walk-about the island of Mallorca. Cheers to her husband, my girls' dad & stepmom, and my folks, who will be holding down the fort while we log some miles and time together. Our families were supposed to vacation together in summer 2020. This has turned into the mamas only, next year. YES, Planning and choosing optimism in the face of so much *gesturing* of all this is hard. AND we choose to try anyway. 

A few general day to day applications

A. yes I am still tweeting about my sink. and it is still as motivating and accountablity holding for me as it was when I started in 2017

B. yes metro still has rotten service/reliability. and it's still mostly better than me navigating parking downtown. 

C. yes, I wanted the Nationals to win more games. And my guy is a Barves fan, so he's enjoying the World Series outcome

D. Yes, memories last forever. And saying goodbye when a beloved friend dies still hurts. 

E. Yes, getting up early is hard. (note, when I say early, I mean 4:15). AND doing this so that the miles are shared with friends is worth it. The best conversations, and the best sunrises are some of the rewards. 

Best sunrise of the year. Ida Lee Park, Leesburg, VA

F. Yes, it's hard when your team trades away the players you love. And it's ok to welcome the new guys. And to cheer for your traded guys on their new teams. AND not everyone agrees with that last sentence. Which is ok, because this is my word of the year :-) 

G. Yes, raising teens is hard. AND it's also wonderful, rewarding, and heart-growing. I love my girls to the moon and back.

YES, 2021 brought a bucket full of challenges, AND still we found some bright spots. Vaccines arrived (hooray), the girls were finally back in school in September (hooray), we did get some time with my family this summer (hooray)! We took a quiet vacation to the mountains of North Carolina and enjoyed hiking, rafting, AND I conquered my fear of heights long enough to do a hot air balloon ride, which WOW what an amazing way to view the world. 

And now, with the final sunset of 2021 on the horizon (farewell, so long, I am done), it's time to look ahead to the new year, and a new challenge. 

2022 is bringing a lot of change to our world. I have one kiddo about to be a fully licensed driver, and she's starting the college exploration path, and she will be a senior. (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN). My other one will start high school in the fall. And with this last year ahead, I want to make sure I pay attention to what's happening. Both the changes coming and the memories we're making. The big and the small. With the girls; with my family; with my friends. Tackling some new goals (2022 miles targeted in a different way), taking a more deliberate walk through Scripture with some additional focus time there. 

I mulled on a lot of words before one made itself very well known. 2022 is the year of EMBRACE. Reaching out and wrapping my arms around my people, memories, experiences, goals, learning, and the future. Both literally (lots of hugs on deck) and figuratively (a focused effort to pray specifically for people, one at a time, and some journaling of the things I see/learn/do/feel. The gratitude journal has arrived). 

Cheers to the new year; may yours be filled with grace, love, laughter, and hope. Embrace them every day.

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**My OneWord365 History**

2012 - brave
2013 - grace
2014 - journey
2015 - wait
2016 - pursue
2017 - raw
2018 - listen
2019 - balance
2020 - enough
2021 - YES, AND

2022 - EMBRACE

crossing the "finish line" of 2021 miles. Sept 16, 2021.
With walker buddies (and dear friends) Anna and Leslie

One Word 365 roundup

 Some other day we will get back to the 2017 spring break finishing. and the amazing 2019 world series championship from our beloved baseball team. And the years of OneWord 365 that I didn't publish.

(here's a history by the way)

2012 - brave
2013 - grace
2014 - journey
2015 - wait
2016 - pursue
2017 - raw
2018 - listen
2019 - balance
2020 - enough
2021 - (no I won't spoil it by putting it at the top. You will have to read the full post)

Let's start with how did ENOUGH play out for this year? 

I had intended to make this be an assessment of 
* am I doing enough (in the arenas of attention / engagement with my kiddos, growth and development at work, exploring interests I've long left by the wayside, focus on my relationship with one particular person, exercise/health attention)
* where am I doing more than enough - and therefore should cut back (in the arenas of volunteer work, leadership roles rather than helper roles behind the scenes)

Things started off slowly for my focus on all of these things in January. and then on March 11 everything changed. (that's the day my kids last went to school in person).  Enough took on a whole new spin, and rapidly at that.

I've spent the last 9 months focused on not the ideas I had, but also - what is enough with regard to physical distancing, wearing a mask, locking down before seeing family members. What is enough with regard to physical space - we learned that our landlords were selling our rental property that we were living in, and we moved. I am HUGELY GRATEFUL for a new-to-us place in the same neighborhood, with a fantastic configuration to support this work from home mama AND a space for each kiddo to do school at home. (Did I mention they are still school at home? They will be until the end of this school year. At least. I am hopeful that ENOUGH people will be vaccinated to facilitate a return to fully in person learning by fall 2021). I spend time each morning digging up enough energy to get through that day. 

We are weathering current circumstances better than many, and I am grateful for that as well. I learned we had more than enough stuff, so we did a wonderfully freeing purge when we moved. I was reminded that even as we mask up and stay apart, my village showed up to do enough of the heavy lifting to help the move be easier than expected. 

As for the volunteer time, that looks a little different, but I did assess where I was over extended and culled that back to be what feels like the right level of commitment for now. And made a note to revisit every year holistically, as well as every time someone asks for volunteers. I think this has been a welcome change.

As for the enough time invested in the kids - I think I struck a good balance of partnering with them in the new school-at-home-and-everything-looks-different-and-I-miss-my-friends-and-where-is-normal-mom situation, but not hovering too much. Though they might disagree a bit. (or a lot). They've grown a lot in their independence. Everyone takes turns cooking dinner (full meals with fancy stuff even) and doing dishes now. That's been a blessing - as it means I can put in my work hours doing the day, and don't have to go back online after dinner most days. Which in turn has allowed me to put some more time into reading - one of those things I love so much and didn't spend nearly enough time doing in the several years leading up to this one. 

And as every single day brings something else in 2020 (today there's a power outage in town so half of the teachers and school kids can't even log on to the school programs), I think we all want to say enough is enough, and look forward to the brighter days ahead. 

Which brings me to the word of 2021.  We all spend a lot of time in "either or" mode. Things must be one way or the other. If this one thing is true then some other thing cannot also be true. The world is not a two outcome place. Real life is not always either / or.  Therefore, in this coming year, I am looking at it from the perspective of  "YES, AND".  ( YES, I know that is two words AND there are no rules in OneWord365.) So often we hear "yes, but..."   I am changing the conjunction of focus to and.  

As we enter the last 9 days of 2020 - may you find enough love to carry you over the threshold to a new year, with vaccines, hope, renewed purpose and brighter days.  Consider joining the friendly folks at oneword365 and seeing if a word focus rather than a resolution focus changes where you might be headed. 

With love from here, I wish 2020 a (not so fond) farewell (and a swift kick in the pants for good measure) and  2021 a warm welcome. 

2021: Yes, and. 

WAIT (a year in review)

This is the 4^th year I’ve chosen the path of OneWord365 instead of New Year’s resolutions. One word to focus on throughout the year.

If you know me at all, you know I am a planner. (Some might say an over planner). I do it all day every day for my job and I also find that it makes my household run somewhat smoother. The kids like having a schedule. And I like having one, too. There’s something to be said for knowing what is coming. Yes, spontaneity is fun and there’s a time and place for it, but it’s not my preference. (ok, I admit it. Surprises are fun but totally unplanned events / happenings make me VERY, VERY nervous.)

Waiting doesn’t have to equate to not planning, but I interpreted it that way, purposely. I tried not to plan everything as soon as an idea popped into my head.  I tried to let ideas simmer more and to weigh them as options in their high level form before getting mired in the details of potential execution. It was hard.

As I look forward to 2016 I see a lot of changes on the horizon for us. Honestly, I saw them coming earlier this year – wanted some of them to happen sooner – but couldn’t see a path for how to get them rolling. So I waited. Hoped. Anticipated. Tried to put them out of my mind, instead of planning a way to make them get here.

Lots of late night discussions with some very important people and many, many hours spent praying for a path or direction, still nothing. Just waiting. I could see the destination and could not see the path. Not even the first step. Wait. Wait. Wait.

I didn’t like it at all. I spent many a night fretting and many a night in tears with my frustration. However, as the year came to a close, a lot of other things have changed. Circumstances beyond my control and things completely unexpected have all set in motion. The path I could not even imagine less than 6 months ago is emerging right before my eyes. Decisions I thought would be hard won’t even have to be made because other people have made some choices and set the stones into place. Now all I have to do is follow the path, one step at a time.

My usual method of plan and execute was put to the test with a mission to wait and see. The waiting yielded the direction and also the confirmation I needed that these are the next right steps for us.

And so 2015 comes to a close, the waiting nearly complete. Timing of life with kids is such that there is a little more waiting to be done, but now there is a healthy, refreshing dose of planning to go with it. And as the start of 2016 stands before us tonight, the year of PURSUE begins.

 

**You can read more about the One Word 365 Community here**

 

Journey: A Year in Review

I can hardly believe it is time to look ahead to a new year, and to choose a new word. Before I explore that, though, I have a lot to be thankful for with the end of the "journey year".

Literal journeys this year added 5 new baseball stadiums to my places visited: Citi Field (Mets), Petco Park (Padres), Angels Stadium, Dodgers Stadium, and PNC Park (Pirates). I also added "on the ice at the Verizon Center" and "on the field for pre-game" at Nationals Park, PNC Park, and Orioles Park at Camden Yards.  I traveled with a new friend to see some old friends in California, and road tripped with Nats buddies to see the team, explore Pittsburgh and meet a new work colleague.

My journey this year also led through some tough decisions - some job opportunities turned down, some memories finally filed away in a place where they won't haunt me every day, and with mixed emotions, a new church home for me and the girls.

I've made some new friends and some amazing memories due to the power of social media. We've laughed together, cried together. Hugged each other in times of great family loss and those moments of baseball agony. Cheered until we were hoarse. Witnessed history live - no hitters and 18 inning marathons. Tried new foods, some which were fabulous and some I'll never touch again, thank you very much. We've made memories I will cherish long after 2014 has faded away.

And I've been challenged beyond what I remembered possible
* with a new organization to give my time in a more deliberate way
* with my kids - the hard questions have started
* with my writing - I tried to go 31 days straight (and didn't get there, but got further than I would have last year)
* with my heart - could I let someone close again?

So as I reflect on the end of the 2014 journey, it's been a great year. Hard times, but good ones. And even in the toughest moments of this year, I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Even the results from the playoffs. Because the agony of defeat makes the forthcoming triumph that much sweeter. The deliberate focus on the process rather than the destination has been excellent for me this year. The journey goes on ... I pray the intentional choices will continue... but as we cross over to 2015, my new word is WAIT.

I am excited ... and very nervous ... about what exactly that looks like in this coming year. Brave, grace, and journey have ALL turned out to be just what I needed. Apparently "wait" is what I need now.

Say (Day 8)

The word of the day is:
SAY

Last night the Nationals' playoff journey ended. As a fan, it was heartbreaking. As a mom of fans, it hurt all over again today when I had to explain to the girls that the ride for this season was over. There have been a lot of people with a whole lot to say after the game / series. Lots of armchair managing and even, much to my dismay, a significant amount of player bashing. (TERRIBLE).

So with my five minutes today, I will exceed the time limit and give you my thoughts on not only the end of the season for my Nats.

I am a fan. An avid fan. A long time fan. But I don't know a lickety-split-bit about how to manage a baseball team and/or a game. I don't. I do know that we didn't hit well (.300 is good. .200 is icky. I think we hit .164-ish for the series. That's not good.) Without hitting - and therefore run scoring (hits do not always lead to runs, but no hits definitely means no runs...) it's going to be very, very hard to win games. Despite the "dead bats" we *STILL* almost won this thing. 3 one-run games.  So *blah-blah-blah* criticize the manager for pitching matchups (or lack thereof) or whathaveyou - you will not hear that from me. This team played their hearts out. They did NOT WANT to lose. Today they are sad. They have finished a LONG, LONG season - and sooner than they wanted - so I won't second guess what happened. Instead, I will say thanks for the ride, guys. You have brought me amazing baseball this year.

I got to see a 10 game win streak. I got to see walk-off after walk-off, never the same way twice. I saw my first ever no hitter in person. I may never see that again. In my whole life.

I was lucky enough to get playoff tickets and to take my girls to a playoff game. I took my dad and my brother to the next game and sat through all 18 innings ...6 hours and 23 minutes.. of a 2-1 game. In the cold. In the wind. In all the crazy. Because that is baseball and I love it. It was a record-breaking game and I was there. I will always have those stories.

And then I stayed up late to watch. To see us scrape out runs on errors by the Giants. And then I stayed up to watch last night. When it didn't go how we wanted. But to the very last man - to the very last out, this team fought, and fought hard, to keep the season alive. They came back from all sorts of deficits all season long. They overcame injuries to the regular guys. They welcomed new guys mid season and they fit right in and kept playing. For 166 games this team gave me everything and I am so thankful to have been there and to have shared it with my kids.

THANK YOU, NATS, FOR GIVING ME YOUR ALL. Thank you for being a team of good guys - who my kids can follow. Thank you for taking the time to meet the fans. Thank you for stopping, for shaking hands a million times. Thank you for smiling for one more picture, even when it feels like your cheeks might explode - the way you make us all feel like we are your number one fan.

Many of you give of your free time to help others. And while the fans don't always see what you do, the people you help see it every single day. For them, you make the difference between a good day and a bad day - between a day with a smile and a day without.  You support the community, the military, kids in need, single moms, and so many more groups.

To the Nationals organization - the front office and the behind the scenes folks - thank you for memories we never even could have imagined. Teddy delivering a cake ... scoreboard messages ... adding new slogans to the walls and new content to the in-game Nats HD screen (rally Elmo; walkup songs; Happy Gio; etc). To all the folks at Nats Park who make the games happen every single day all summer long. To every one of you who answered a question, waved to my girls, helped us in a concession line, kept the bathrooms clean and the paper towels full. For those who helped when we needed to get more tickets or change things around. To Maribel who brought A her birthday surprise sack. You all make our appreciation of baseball, and our game-day experience what it is. And I am proud to say that at Nats park, you are top notch.

Thank you especially for honoring our troops - my favorite part of every single Nats game is the cap-wave when we can welcome home our military. I stand, I clap, I cheer, and I cry. I watch our players stop and clap, too. Thank you for doing that. Every single game. Please don't ever stop.

To the Nationals players, the staff, and the organization: Thank you for another unforgettable season. Enjoy the time off ... and let's start the countdown to pitchers and catchers :-)

That's all I have to say about that.

I will save my amazing-baseball-summer-journey that goes beyond the Nats for another post.

A few pictures from throughout the season below. Not in any particular order.

PS read all 31 days here

with "MASN Dan" - Dan Kolko sideline reporter

with Bryce Harper at season-ticket-holder day

Adam LaRoche camo day

Teddy!!!

Danny "Espi"nosa

piggybacks!

with Screech, on the field!

with Dad and Jeff.  This is before the first pitch of NLDS game 2 - the 2-for-1 game.

ABE! It was a hot summer day!!

Opening day in Citi Field, NYC. That day was COLD.

witnessing history in person

GIO!!!

with Doug Fister

with the Buffalo ... Wilson Ramos

from our season seats. "The selfie shelf"

yes, indeed, we did a 14th inning stretch too.

It's not Just About MY Journey (OneWord365 May Check In)

Time to reflect again. On where my journey has gone in May. As much as I am lousy about posting on time, I am still in the window, and reflecting each month on the journey this year has allowed me to see things I might not have - to notice effects of my word focus that I would likely miss when I do my end-of-year lookback. Because without pausing now to actually write them down, I am not sure I would even catch them. Lost in the other parts of my life.

May has been a WHIRLWIND. Birthdays and parties and SOL exams and baseball and end of school.
  ** SIDEBAR.  SOLs are Standards of Learning exams, I think but in reality they're an attempt by the state of Virginia to see what our 3rd grade - and higher - children have learned, and they cause a LOT of stress. This is my 3rd grader's first year and she's so afraid of not following directions that this is what I got:
     S: "mom, my teacher said we need to go to bed EARLY the night before the test."
(my thought: this is likely geared at the parents who let their kids stay up late... but my kids already go to bed at 7:30?!)
     me: I think we will be ok sticking to 7:30, sweetie
     S: MOM! MOM! no, I will get in SOOOOOOOO much trouble if I don't go to bed early. and I might not do well on the test. what if I fall asleep?!
     me: ok, well what time do you think is appropriate, then?
     S: 6:30. I think that will work.
     me: (stunned silence)  wellll, ok, if you think that is what you need?
**END SIDEBAR**

But as I look back at May, there's another journey we got to celebrate. One that has nothing to do with where I am, what I'm learning, where I am going. And it is just as important as all of those things.

My little brother graduated from college this month. It's been a long journey for him to get there. I am so proud of him. Graduating with honors. It is not my place to share his story. But it is totally my place to brag on his accomplishments!  Recipient of the Bachelor of Arts degree, with a double major in History and Political & Governmental Affairs, CUM LAUDE. So here are a few pictures with the family: my kids, my folks, and the graduate.

Congratulations, Jeff! You worked hard for this - you put your heart into it - and it shows. I am so proud of what you have become and what you have accomplished. Thanks for allowing us to be a part of YOUR journey. I love you!

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Linking up with the One Word 365 check ins over here. 

Journey (OneWord365 April check in)

It's Tuesday. Actually the 4th Tuesday, but Amy shows grace and leaves the link open a FULL WEEK (Thanks, Amy!) and since this was due last Tuesday, I will squeak in under the deadline.

Time to check in with the word of the year and see how it's worked or been present in my life the past month.  

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April brings spring break. Since the separation, we alternate holidays with the kiddos, except for Christmas break. This year was a "Daddy year" so my girls spent a relaxing and adventurous week with their grandparents, their dad, stepmother and little brother. With a week entirely to myself, I embraced my word, journey, to its fullest and took a vacation with a girlfriend.

We left DC on Saturday evening and flew to LAX, and then drove to San Diego. Saturday through Monday nights, we had a delightful apartment in the Gaslamp District. Sunday we visited a church in El Cajon, and then we spent the rest of the day with my dear friends, Chuck and Bridget. Chuck and I have been friends since we were 3. We are much older than 3 now ...

Saving the Opera, one person at a time!

Chuck is the chorusmaster at the San Diego Opera. And Bridget sings in the chorus. Sunday was a treat for the ages - we saw the last (well, we hope not the last!) performance of the San Diego Opera. The show was Don Quixote, and it was fantastic! At the end, the hero dies, and as there is much still unknown about the future of the opera in San Diego, the audience felt like we died right along with him. I was sitting near many long-time opera patrons and they were sobbing. Audibly. Older patrons and younger ones. Some who had been coming to shows for over 30 years. It will be a sad day if the opera is finished. As of tonight, there is an extension until May 19. You can read all about the latest on the fate of the opera here.

After the opera and the interviews (thank you, local news in San Diego for helping to share the story!) we went to dinner with Chuck and Bridget. And then we went for dessert. 

DESSERT!!

Afterwards, when we could eat not another bite, they took us on a city tour. We saw Balboa Park and then drove over to Coronado Island to look back at the skyline at night. Breathtaking views.

reflections in Balboa Park

Monday we ventured up to La Jolla and met up with a colleague of mine for lunch. And we spent Monday night at PETCO Park (San Diego Padres baseball). Take note - I am somewhat of a baseball junkie so the main focus of this trip, outside the opera, was baseball. 3 games - 3 new stadiums for me - in a week. The game was fun. San Diego came from behind in the bottom of the 8th to score 2 runs (on no hits, even!) and win. We had Phil's BBQ for dinner in the park. Don't miss that if you go - delicious! We walked back to the apartment after the game and stayed up late to watch the lunar eclipse from our balcony. Despite being in the middle of the city, the view was clear and watching that was spectacular. I took a few hundred photos with my new camera. None of them turned out very well (I am still learning). But the memory is clear and that's my favorite part of the experience anyway. 

PETCO Park

Tuesday we continued our journey and started our drive up the coast. We stopped at Rocky's Crown Pub. If you are in San Diego and you can get here, do NOT miss it. A friend told me it was the best burger in all of California. I have to say that it was maybe the best burger I've EVER had. We got there early and it was packed. Standing room only and a wait. I struck up a conversation with the guys standing next to me and within a few minutes they had invited us to share the next table that came open with them. (They had spied one in the back which had seating for 5 - that would fit their 3 plus my friend and me). They then told us stories of how they'd met and how they'd been coming to Rocky's every week for years and years. We met Joe, the owner and burger maker. The only choices you need to make at Rocky's are: big or small, with or without cheese, onions grilled or raw, and fries or no fries. My choice was small, with cheese, grilled and with fries. Finger licking good. The conversation eventually turned to dessert (of course!) and our new friends recommended Mr. Frostie's. A few blocks down and serving ice cream since 1949. Well worth the stop! 

our new friends - Jerry, Danny and Sherri

We continued on and spent Tuesday night at a resort in Newport Beach. There was a local place on the beach (walking traffic only!) to eat dinner on the porch and observe the glorious sunset into the Pacific. The pictures don't do it justice. But they might give you a hint of the splendor.  (or not. again, no inherent talent with the camera)

sunset over the Pacific

Wednesday the journey led us to Anaheim. We spent the afternoon at the pool and then walked to Angels Stadium, where we got to see a fantastic comeback and then the Angels victorious in the 12th inning. (Yes, 12. We got some free baseball that night). We sat in the front row down the right field line. I managed to get some good pictures that night. But the best was the one with Sonny Gray. He's a pitched for the Oakland Athletics. AKA the A's. He went to Vanderbilt (several years after I did). So while we were watching batting practice, I yelled "Anchor Down" and he turned around, smiled, and came over for a picture. This is my favorite picture of the whole trip. Vanderbilt all the way.  

ANCHOR DOWN!

Thursday we got up and headed a bit east, to Carbon Canyon park. We hiked to the redwood grove and saw some amazing wildlife along the way. I even captured a hummingbird in a photo. Then we drove to Marina del Rey and stayed at a B&B with so many stories held within its walls.

one of the journal pages ... from shortly after September 11, 2001

 Read more about the journals and some other journeys. I added a few pages of my own. Friday after breakfast we rode our bikes (included with the room) along the beach and around the marina. I had a cactus (YES, CACTUS) taco for lunch. Embracing new foods on this journey as well. It was very tasty. 

cactus taco

We then braved the LA traffic (goodness, traffic like I have never seen. I am from NJ, and I live near DC, so I have seen my fair share of traffic, but this was in a class all its own) and headed to Chavez Ravine. Dodger Stadium. Another fine game, with fantastic views of LA and also history held within the walls of the park. 12 innings later (yes, the second 12 inning game of the week!) the Dodgers had lost the game after a comeback only a few innings prior. The game as a whole was fun, and the crowd at Dodger stadium was the rowdiest of the games we saw. Very entertaining. The organist there has been playing there for over 30 years. I would love to hear some more about her journey!

LA skyline from the top of Chavez Ravine

swing ... and a miss!

as Puig watches the ball go by.

waving from the top!

Saturday we flew from LAX via San Francisco back to DC. We arrived around 11pm, exhausted but filled with great memories and some new stories to share with loved ones and friends.

So my journey in April was a physical one - across the country and along a little piece of the coast - and it added 3 stadiums more in my quest to see them all.

Journey (OneWord365 March check in)

We've been studying through Exodus in my Sunday School class. One theme keeps coming back - or rather one theme keeps sticking it's nose into the forefront of my thoughts. That is that God, when delivering the nation of Israel out of Egypt, he protected them - kept them from experiencing anything too strong with battles of other nations, until they were prepared. Until they'd changed their mindset. They had been slaves for 430 years, and they had no other way of thinking. For generations they had been slaves. When they first left, they didn't know how else to behave. And when things go hard, they actually had the thought - maybe we'd be better off back in Egypt.

As that sank in - that they'd consider going back to being slaves because it was familiar, that even though it was hard, it was something known and safe - it made me sad. How terrible to be willing to miss the wonderful place the Lord had prepared in the promised land, because it would be a tough journey. Because it was unknown. Because their faith wasn't strong enough to trust that the Lord KNEW the end destination was better than they could even imagine.

And then I thought about where I am in one particular piece of my journey. I've got some tough decisions ahead - and they're very close. At least they *should* be. But instead of running ahead - instead of resting in the knowledge that God has orchestrated this change - that He has given me a path to follow - I am turning around and running back to Egypt! WHAT?! Even as I sit and write this, I see it. I see the reluctance to move on. I'm in a safe place. It's comfortable. It has been good. It has served its purpose. But I feel the calling - the need to move forward. Frankly, I am scared. The next step on this particular leg of the journey is going to take some work. A lot of prayer. And some searching. That's hard.

Sometimes I don't do hard well. Especially if there is an easy out. But running back isn't going to make it any easier to get where I need to be. Where God wants me to be. As I think back to the sadness I've felt as we've studied the journey out of Egypt, it has hit home. I need to get myself in gear, follow the path the Lord has laid before me, and not look back. I need to stop longing for my comfort zone. I need to stop treading water and waiting for a wave I can ride to the next shore. I need to start swimming forward. Though I can't see the actual destination, that doesn't mean that I can tell the journey to time out. Get on the path, one foot in front of the other, and keep going.

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It's the third Tuesday of the month (well, actually it's sometime after the 3rd and before the 4th Tuesday...) and time to link up with Amy and update about my OneWord365 for the year. I am really glad for this accountability string. The reminder to post as I go, and not try to recall it all in December.

Willing (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to Five Minute Friday. Where a great big flash mob of brave souls deliver wonderful words for you to read. All on the same prompt, but never are two stories the same. Come join us!

The rules are simple.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat. No editing, backtracking, overthinking. Just write.
2. Link up here with the gang.
3. (The MOST IMPORTANT RULE!) visit the FMF Neighbor - the one who linked right before you - and leave a bit of encouragement for them. That is the heart of our community.

And here's my 5 minutes on:
WILLING.

There's a lot of talk about willing - are you always willing to do what God asks? Every time? Right when he asks? It's a popular sermon thought, and a theme throughout the Bible. And I like to think that I am. But deep down, sometimes I know, I am not willing. At least not if He asks me. Which is why sometimes I think instead of asking ... He tells me.

It's sort of like parenting. I learned (ok, sometimes I forget) to TELL the kids to do something if I didn't want to hear them tell me no. If I asked "will you please clear the dishes?" they could say no. And it would be on me, because I ASKED them. So instead, I say "S, please clear your dishes from the table." Now it's a command, and then there's no room to object - at least without consequences.

And so it goes with me. The Lord asks me to do a lot of things - and that's all well and good. But I am certain that if He had asked me to take a walk down the path of divorce, seeing my family torn by an extra-marital affair, and asked me to be gracious through it. To show the love of Christ to her. I would have said no. Really, who would volunteer to do that?! Not me.

BUT. He didn't ask me if I was willing. He allowed it to happen. (Don't mistake this for God bringing the divorce about Himself. He wouldn't do that. BUT He does let things happen, and there are consequences when folks make really lousy choices.)

And for days, weeks, months, YEARS, I fought tooth and nail, on my knees begging for it to be anything other than that conclusion. And still here I sit. And now, 4+ years later, I can see the good in it. The Lord has carried me through times harder than I could ever have imagined. And that's exactly why He didn't ask if I was willing. I would have thought it impossible to survive. To come out the other end with my heart healed, my faith stronger than when I went in, and a journey of grace that I never could have dreamed possible.

My unwilling self would have missed the opportunity to be a healing mentor. To show other women walking this same path, or a similar one, that God can indeed work even the awfulest of things for His Glory.  So my unwilling self on this occasion says "thank you" for making sure it was a command - a command to follow Him, and to do what is right, with grace. Even if . And Especially if. I wasn't willing.

Stop. 
(sorry, I ran over. confessing for all to see, I broke rule #1 this week)

Journey (OneWord365 February check in)

The link up started Tuesday, so I nearly missed the party. But not quite! Amy is hosting a monthly series on the 3rd Tuesdays, to have an accountability tracker, or at least a progress update, for her OneWord365. I joined last month and was glad for the quick status check on my journey. We will see if I can keep it up all year. (My stellar blogging on time record, you know?!)

I finally sat down tonight to reflect on the changes, or progress, since last time. My word is JOURNEY. And I had anticipated slowing down this year - spending more time focused on how I was getting places; how I was moving through life, rather than on the end destination. It led to lots more quality time with my kiddos (we were at 5 snow days the last time I reflected. Now we've had 13. That's 8 more. We all still have some degree of sanity, so that's a journey score!).  I have also noticed considerably less stress in a few situations with my ex and his new wife (another journey score! plus 2 scores on the grace 2013 tally sheet. I will keep that record growing!)

I've also been weighing some other things in my life (no, this is not an annoucement of "I got a second tattoo in as many months".  I am quite happy with just one for now.). And I had been praying for wisdom, as well as patience. Praying for a way to stick with where I was because of the things I saw that wanted me to stay. But then I changed how I was praying - I was feeling more and more unsettled. And, true to His promises, my prayers were answered. Much faster than I expected (sidebar ... am I the only one continually amazed at how fast prayers can be answered? I so often think that I will have to labor over a request for months on end. And sometimes that's the case, but sometimes it's a fast response. And I'm always blown away.)  

I started asking for clear direction - for a catalyst to help me know whether I should stay with the status quo (familiar, comfortable, and nothing specifically wrong ... but just not what I NEED right now) or if I should seek something else - something that would meet the need. And within 2 weeks of the change in how I was asking, I had an obvious answer. One thing after another lined up in quick succession and it became abundantly clear that the next part of my journey this year involves a step out in faith. I won't sugar coat it - this is a pretty huge step, and I'm feeling unsettled as the destination of this leg is not yet known. I am a planner, and seeking change without a planned destination is not in my comfort zone. (Score one for the stretch factor on my journey). I may not have resolution to this part by the March update - in fact, I expect it is a several month work in progress. But the lack of major milestones in a few weeks does not mean the journey is paused.

In choir practice tonight, we sang these words, from "Bow The Knee" by Chris Machen and Mike Harland.

There are moments on our journey following the Lord
Where God illumines every step we take.
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us
As we try to understand each move He makes.
When the path grows dim
And our questions have no answers, turn to Him

Bow the knee; trust the heart of your Father when answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee; lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan, 
In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

There are days when clouds surround us, and the rain begins to fall,
The cold and lonely winds won't cease to blow.
And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel;
We are tempted to believe God does not know. 
When the storms arise, Don't forget we live by faith and not by sight.

Tonight I find myself headed down a dimmer path. Clearly leading away from the familiar on a journey to the as-yet unknown, but I am confident that this is exactly where I belong. I am hesitant in some respects - it is always tough to leave a place of comfort, especially without a new end already on the map. But far outweighing my hesitation is the excitement of the new, unexplored, endless possibilities that the Lord has laid in front of me. So I am stepping out, heading down the dim path, fully seeing that just the first steps are lit up bright as the noonday sun. And that's really the point of the journey - just take the next right step. And then the next step after that. The dim path will grow brighter as I follow close behind the footprints laid before me.


How is your OneWord impacting your year? I'm interested to hear about it!

Journey (OneWord365 January check in)

Amy has started a monthly accountability series - a check in for her OneWord365). Since I mostly write only when prompted (aka Five Minute Friday ... or Behind the Scenes) I decided to follow her lead, and her link up, and try to do a monthly check in on my word, too. JOURNEY.

It's 3 weeks into the new year, and my journey is already taking me places I never would have imagined this time last year.  My final push for this word emerged with the gift my mom made for me for Christmas. (She's a rock star, eh? Cross-stitched this fantastic sampler for me, and now it will hang over my desk).

We've had 5 snow days. Yes, 5. In past years, that would prompt me to take the kids to daycare so I could work from home in the peace and quiet. I am a full time telecommuter and as a project manager, I spend a LOT of time on the phone, with internal customers and with clients. Two small kids cooped up at home plus conference calls would spell a recipe for disaster. But this year I decided to try it. So even on the "I think the roads are passable" days, I've let the girls stay home. We have a talk each morning about when mama needs it to be quiet (they can play in their rooms) and when it's ok for some noise near me (they can then be in the play room - which has my  office in the corner). And the deal is if they can't be quiet at the quiet times, and if they can't keep from interrupting during those times, then day care is back on the table.  I don't like to use it as a threat, as I want them to love their after school care place (and they do) but they'd rather be home. So it becomes an option on these days.

I am pleased to say that everyone (myself included) has shown an enormous amount of patience, and for the most part, it's been successful. I've cut the work days short on those days, or taken a long lunch to play in the yard or play a game with the girls, and they've been really, really good. A few mishaps -- which yielded this apology (written so as to not interrupt again), so I will even call that a win.  Score one for the journey.

I've also been weighing a big (for me) decision. For 4 years. And with thoughtful contemplation, I came to the long needed conclusion. I determined:
(A) it would NOT be out of spite or a hasty move ... remember, 4 years in the thought process
(B) would not be frowned upon by my family (though my parents weren't jumping for joy, they didn't ask me not to do it)
(C) was something I wanted to keep my eyes focused on the journey - and how I wanted to live my live every day
and
(D) was a decision I was totally comfortable having my kids see the outcome of, and discussing WHY I did what I did

and so, with the support of some lovely new (and old) friends, I headed out to get this:


It's on my left foot, and every day I am reminded to choose joy on the journey. To find the good - to count my blessings - and to teach my girls to do the same.

And I have learned that they are indeed learning - we started our 2014 thanksgiving list (which we keep on the kitchen table in this beautiful piece of pottery that my friend made specifically for my family, specifically for this purpose). This morning, the girls told me to stay in bed. They brought me breakfast, and then had their own at the kitchen table. They came back up and said, "Mama, we made our thankful list entries, so now it's your turn."  Unprompted by me. Score another point for the journey - and a little extra delight that they are seeing it, too.

3 weeks in, and so far, I feel less stressed, less hurried, less impatient. I'm noticeably more reflective, and I am seeing all of this mirrored in my girls. The journey has begun, and I am really liking where it's been, and where it's going.