Wardrobe can be another word for closet, yes? yes. let's roll with that. I suppose it's more properly described as a free standing closet. Closets are good for hiding things - besides clothes, you can tuck all sorts of things in a closet. Shoes. Craft projects. Laundry baskets. Suitcases. Christmas and birthday surprises. Some fun things, and some boring, but necessary things.
Ever consider using a wardrobe as an analogy for your heart? Lots of things can get hidden in your heart, too. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Joy. Love. Kindness.
You open a wardrobe and pick out what to wear - and if you're like me (or especially like my kids) you choose your favorite things more often than the other things. The pants that fit just right or the shirt that makes you smile. The comfortable things or the ones that make your day better.
If you think of your heart the same way, when you open your heart every day, what do you choose to wear? What emotions fit "just right" or feel comfortable like an old friend? The more you wear them, the better they fit, and the more you are drawn back to those as your first, easy pick.
My goal is to have kindness and joy and love as the first ones I go to. The ones that beckon each time I look inside. Some days it's hard and I need a little reminder to go back inside and get the good ones out. But every day I do, it makes them easier to pull out the next morning, too.
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This post is a part of Write 31 days. You can find all the posts in the series here.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Day 2: PAINT
We met at Nationals Park last night for a baseball game and then a special project. One of the player's wives is a dedicated ambassador in the effort to end human trafficking and human slavery. Last night the two efforts intersected with a chance for us to "paint" the sidewalk outside Nationals Park red as a part of the Red Sand Project.
I'd estimate about 30 people gathered after the game (maybe more!) and spread the sand in the cracks of the sidewalk. It was overwhelming to think about the people that are taken advantage of every day. Several people who weren't filling cracks with us asked what we were doing. It gave an opportunity to share the mission of the "sidewalk intervention" (there were post cards that we were able to hand out for informational purposes) and others stopped and asked to participate.
See some images / tweets from our experience below.
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This post is a part of 31 days of Five Minute Fridays. Other posts in the series are here.
I'd estimate about 30 people gathered after the game (maybe more!) and spread the sand in the cracks of the sidewalk. It was overwhelming to think about the people that are taken advantage of every day. Several people who weren't filling cracks with us asked what we were doing. It gave an opportunity to share the mission of the "sidewalk intervention" (there were post cards that we were able to hand out for informational purposes) and others stopped and asked to participate.
It was cool to go back to the park today - to see the sand and the hashtags we printed (sidewalk chalk) still there - and to see more people stopping to look and ask questions. We are often reminded that one person makes a difference. One person doing one small thing. Together we can do more. I am thankful for the opportunity to know some good hearted people through baseball, and to use that community to spread the word about other communities that need our help.Spreading the word about @RedSandProject with @Half_St_Irr . #EndHumanTrafficking #RedSandProject pic.twitter.com/yOrPRBvQDx— Jen Underwood (@vandygirl1998) October 1, 2016
See some images / tweets from our experience below.
— p.a.m. (@wvtoots) October 2, 2016
Thanks everyone who participated in #RedSandProject tonight. We cannot ignore our most overlooked populations any longer! #EndModernSlavery pic.twitter.com/z3mnQj7qEH— Erica May-Scherzer (@emaysway) October 2, 2016
Outside Nats Park spreading red sand ... raising awareness to end human trafficking. @redsandproject @emaysway pic.twitter.com/4Fv47aAzU5— MaryB (@maryb889) October 1, 2016
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This post is a part of 31 days of Five Minute Fridays. Other posts in the series are here.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Day 1: WALK
We are fortunate to live close enough to my daughters' schools that we can walk to school most days. When they were both in elementary school, all 3 of us walked in the mornings and I listened to the girls each tell me what they were excited for that day and who they would see every morning. A (the little) was always thinking which of S (the big)'s teachers she would hug. They shared stories and talked about which specials (PE, art, music, etc) they would have that day. Inevitably whichever kid had library was more excited than the other. (I love that they love the library. ALL THE BOOKS.)
This year S is in middle school. School starts later for her, so now the routine is that I walk with A and then home, get S and then walk with her. The conversations in the morning have changed. Still as enlightening for me, but in such a different way. Now that A is not chatting up a storm with big sister, she observes so much more of the surroundings as we walk. Yesterday we noted the "weird" things we saw on the walk - things that did not belong on the sidewalk. A pony tail holder. A splotch of paint. 17 slugs and countless worms "It is WET. So much rain Mama!" We still talk about teachers and specials but we now notice things that we used to just skip past.
When I get home and collect S and head out the door, I have a whole different conversation. Middle school has been a bit of a tough transition. Now I hear about friends (some new, some old). Thursday I learned about the "end of day routine" - how long it takes to get to her locker, collect her books "ALLLLLL the homework, mom ... sigh" and who she makes sure to visit with before she begins the walk home. Who she walks home with.
I have come to cherish the walk times because the peek into their worlds on the walk is different than when we are at home. I think in general, conversations are less intense when walking than when sitting at the table or confined to the house. The 1:1 is intimidating sometimes. All that pressure and focus is divided when you walk and talk at the same time, and it's been amazing what they've shared in their mommy-alone time. Here's hoping we have more dry days than wet so the walks can continue all year long.
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This post is a part of 31 Days of Five Minute Fridays. You can see all posts in the series here.
31 Days of Five Minute Fridays
There's a group of bloggers that write in October every single day. (Write 31 days). And often those writers do a theme for their posts. I learn lots of amazing things from them and I love the commitment to writing. I'm not great at long themed posts - I barely crank out 5 minutes a week most weeks.
Then the Five Minute Friday community thought that maybe a whole month of Five Minute Fridays would be fun. I tried that 2 years ago and wound up sidetracked part way through, but the attempt was fun. So I am going to try again this year.
Welcome to 31 Days of Five Minute Fridays. This is the home/ landing page for mine and every day that I managed to write, I will link the post to the word below.
You can read all the people participating and get more details by going to our host page (thanks Christina!)
Day 7: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT
Day 8: MUDDLE
Day 9: POST-IT
Day 10: UNKNOWN
Day 11: THANKS
Day 12: SKY
Day 13: AWARE
Day 14: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT
Day 15: MOVE
Day 16: LITTLE
Day 17: STUDY
Day 18: NEIGHBOR
Day 19: NOTICE
Day 20: WEEKEND
Day 21: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT
Day 22: OFF
Day 23: BLOWOUT
Day 24: GLOBAL
Day 25: SIGN
Day 26: CONFRONT
Day 27: BOUQUET
Day 28: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY PROMPT
Day 29: DATE
Day 30: CUT
Day 31: ONLY
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Listen (Five Minute Friday)
**9/16/16 - edited to fix the description of good ear vs bad ear and the location of my helper. Short story: helper brings bad ear up to similar level of "good" ear so that I sort of have stereo hearing like most folks.
HA HA HA HA. I am chuckling to myself - out loud - as I see the prompt for this week emerge. Big news in my home this week, and I was debating how widely I would share it. Then the prompt arrived: LISTEN. And I thought - well there's my answer.
This week, I got a hearing aid. I know hearing isn't the same as listening - words can go in one ear and out the other as we wait for our time to respond. People can hear what you say and not process it - not give it credibilty - and therefore they're really not listening to you. You can hear and not listen. In fact, that's fairly easy - and common - especially when you're in a hurry, or too many kids are talking at the same time, or there are things to do, or .. or .. or...
BUT - it is much harder to listen if you cannot hear. I've had significant hearing loss in one ear for several years. Onset in my early 20s and progressed after each pregnancy. Until the past year or so, my good ear could bridge the gap in what my bad ear failed to hear. And so, if I positioned myself in a group with the good ear towards the conversation - if I sat close to the people I needed to hear when we were in a crowded setting - if I turned down the TV when the kids were talking to me - then I was doing OK. I could hear the important stuff.
In the last year, the good ear started to worsen. (thanks random genetic condition that no one in my family actually has/had noticeable symptoms other than me, as far as I know...) I had to ask the girls to repeat themselves often. To the point of their frustration and mine. Driving somewhere in the car was awful, as the road noise filled the "good" ear and the kids had to shout from the back seat. They sometimes even gave up trying to get me to understand them, as the repeating was tiresome. We finally resorted to ... stop, come to mommy and look me in the eyes so I can watch your mouth while you talk." Not fun, right? Terrible when driving. Horrible when outside in the yard.
So, I decided that turning 40 was my cue to finally do something about it. I now have a wonderful (and very small! You might not notice it, if I didn't even point it out!) helper. It assists the "bad" ear back to a level that it hasn't known in some time. So the "good" ear doesn't have to work so hard - and so I hear stuff on both sides. And when I came home with my helper on Tuesday, I noticed a difference right away. The girls can be behind me and I can hear them. Whispers - I can hear them! We watched TV (the Nats were on) and instead of the volume up so loud that the kids can hardly tolerate it and I could barely hear it (17-20 on the dial) we can watch the game on level 6!!! The girls turned on the TV and started to raise the sound, and I had to say TURN IT DOWN. They were thrilled. Dinner conversation has been easier. We can talk when driving to soccer practice. (There's even a special program in my helper to extra dampen the road noise so the kids can talk in normal volumes in the car).
I hear keys clacking on a keyboard. Water boiling on the stove. Plastic bags rustling in the pantry. Sounds I had forgotten even existed. I can watch a movie and not have to sit 2 inches from the TV to be able to keep the sound at a level that doesn't wake the girls after bedtime. It is remarkable how much I was missing and didn't even know, as I've been used to life without it for so long.
For the first time in years, the girls feel like I am available to listen to everything they want to share - because they, and I, no longer have to work so hard at the hearing part.
--------------------
Linking with Kate and the Five Minute Friday crew ... join us here.
HA HA HA HA. I am chuckling to myself - out loud - as I see the prompt for this week emerge. Big news in my home this week, and I was debating how widely I would share it. Then the prompt arrived: LISTEN. And I thought - well there's my answer.
This week, I got a hearing aid. I know hearing isn't the same as listening - words can go in one ear and out the other as we wait for our time to respond. People can hear what you say and not process it - not give it credibilty - and therefore they're really not listening to you. You can hear and not listen. In fact, that's fairly easy - and common - especially when you're in a hurry, or too many kids are talking at the same time, or there are things to do, or .. or .. or...
BUT - it is much harder to listen if you cannot hear. I've had significant hearing loss in one ear for several years. Onset in my early 20s and progressed after each pregnancy. Until the past year or so, my good ear could bridge the gap in what my bad ear failed to hear. And so, if I positioned myself in a group with the good ear towards the conversation - if I sat close to the people I needed to hear when we were in a crowded setting - if I turned down the TV when the kids were talking to me - then I was doing OK. I could hear the important stuff.
In the last year, the good ear started to worsen. (thanks random genetic condition that no one in my family actually has/had noticeable symptoms other than me, as far as I know...) I had to ask the girls to repeat themselves often. To the point of their frustration and mine. Driving somewhere in the car was awful, as the road noise filled the "good" ear and the kids had to shout from the back seat. They sometimes even gave up trying to get me to understand them, as the repeating was tiresome. We finally resorted to ... stop, come to mommy and look me in the eyes so I can watch your mouth while you talk." Not fun, right? Terrible when driving. Horrible when outside in the yard.
So, I decided that turning 40 was my cue to finally do something about it. I now have a wonderful (and very small! You might not notice it, if I didn't even point it out!) helper. It assists the "bad" ear back to a level that it hasn't known in some time. So the "good" ear doesn't have to work so hard - and so I hear stuff on both sides. And when I came home with my helper on Tuesday, I noticed a difference right away. The girls can be behind me and I can hear them. Whispers - I can hear them! We watched TV (the Nats were on) and instead of the volume up so loud that the kids can hardly tolerate it and I could barely hear it (17-20 on the dial) we can watch the game on level 6!!! The girls turned on the TV and started to raise the sound, and I had to say TURN IT DOWN. They were thrilled. Dinner conversation has been easier. We can talk when driving to soccer practice. (There's even a special program in my helper to extra dampen the road noise so the kids can talk in normal volumes in the car).
I hear keys clacking on a keyboard. Water boiling on the stove. Plastic bags rustling in the pantry. Sounds I had forgotten even existed. I can watch a movie and not have to sit 2 inches from the TV to be able to keep the sound at a level that doesn't wake the girls after bedtime. It is remarkable how much I was missing and didn't even know, as I've been used to life without it for so long.
For the first time in years, the girls feel like I am available to listen to everything they want to share - because they, and I, no longer have to work so hard at the hearing part.
--------------------
Linking with Kate and the Five Minute Friday crew ... join us here.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Grow (Five Minute Friday)
Welcome to Five Minute Friday (which seldom happens on Friday for me) where we get a prompt from Kate, write for 5 minutes on whatever it is (edit free - my favorite part because typos are allowed) and then link up (here) and share our writing and encourage others writing in the community.
GROW
(note: I started this post twice. Once on Thursday night and again on Friday. Each time I made it one sentence before something needed my attention and I didn't even manage to squeeze in 5 minutes. So ... third time is a charm?)
We had 2 days of sunshine in a row. HOORAY - we are tired of stereotypical Pacific northwest weather around these parts. 17 days in a row was enough, thank you very much. Except it returns tomorrow. SIGH.
Rain is so needed - to help the plants grow, to help the pollen get out of the air (you are welcome allergy sufferers), to keep the creeks full and the fish happy and such. And yet, too much rain can ruin the very things it is trying to help. Trees get soggy roots and the ground is soft and then they fall over. Creeks flood and the fish are out of the banks and then when the waters recede, the fish can be stranded. Unless someone comes along to put the fish back, it could wither and die on the bank.
And so I've been thinking about how it is with people. Experiences and circumstances help us to grow - moving to a new place, or starting a new job, or even having an argument with a friend. A little at a time, even a steady diet of growth is useful and teaches much. But if you get too much - if you get a monsoon, or a flood, then sometimes the things that keep you grounded come unglued. Your patience for handling conflict - it snaps and then you say words you regret. And then when the rain clears, you are caught like the fish - in the dry pocket. No apparent way back.
If you're lucky, someone will come along and pick you back up - toss you back in the stream and you can swim again.
Today, I had the chance to reflect. Some dear friends of mine have been my "fish rescue squad" and I am thankful that they could bridge the gap from my dry landing zone and whooosh me back into the stream for my next adventure.
STOP.
GROW
(note: I started this post twice. Once on Thursday night and again on Friday. Each time I made it one sentence before something needed my attention and I didn't even manage to squeeze in 5 minutes. So ... third time is a charm?)
We had 2 days of sunshine in a row. HOORAY - we are tired of stereotypical Pacific northwest weather around these parts. 17 days in a row was enough, thank you very much. Except it returns tomorrow. SIGH.
Rain is so needed - to help the plants grow, to help the pollen get out of the air (you are welcome allergy sufferers), to keep the creeks full and the fish happy and such. And yet, too much rain can ruin the very things it is trying to help. Trees get soggy roots and the ground is soft and then they fall over. Creeks flood and the fish are out of the banks and then when the waters recede, the fish can be stranded. Unless someone comes along to put the fish back, it could wither and die on the bank.
And so I've been thinking about how it is with people. Experiences and circumstances help us to grow - moving to a new place, or starting a new job, or even having an argument with a friend. A little at a time, even a steady diet of growth is useful and teaches much. But if you get too much - if you get a monsoon, or a flood, then sometimes the things that keep you grounded come unglued. Your patience for handling conflict - it snaps and then you say words you regret. And then when the rain clears, you are caught like the fish - in the dry pocket. No apparent way back.
If you're lucky, someone will come along and pick you back up - toss you back in the stream and you can swim again.
Today, I had the chance to reflect. Some dear friends of mine have been my "fish rescue squad" and I am thankful that they could bridge the gap from my dry landing zone and whooosh me back into the stream for my next adventure.
STOP.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
The Extra Mommas
We do a really, really good job at celebrating the moms in our lives for Mother's Day. My mom is one of the most amazing women I know, and I am so thankful for the blood, sweat, tears, and love that she poured into my brother and me. I also had two incredible grandmothers who lived until I was well into my 20's and a great grandmother that I was lucky enough to share close to 11 years with.
My girls have me, my mom, their other grandma, and now also a stepmom and a step grandma, and we love them and teach them and encourage their little hearts to grow into big hearts. That's a lot of great mom power loving on my kiddos.
But as I sit here tonight, I am thinking of the not-mom moms that my girlies have as well. The aunts, and the almost aunts. The baseball aunts and the neighbor aunts and the church aunts. We don't call them all aunt, but that is the role they fill ... and in my view aunts are just as important as moms. These ladies didn't give birth to my girls but they love them as if they did. They often have special names ... and those of you who don't have a special name yet ... just wait. You will.
You love on my kids and hug on them and teach them. You listen to them talk and ask a million questions. You answer them patiently, sometimes long after my patience has run out. You share laps and nachos and ice cream cones and popcorn. You share laughter and hugs and tears and smiles. You share baseballs and pencils and bobbleheads and blankets and rain delays. You carpool and give snacks. You teach them Bible verses and you demonstrate compassion. You cheer their success and you encourage where they fall short. You put your actions where your words are and your heart where your actions are ... and you make the words "it takes a village" ring true in my life every day.
Single mom mode is hard. And you all step up to the plate every day to make it easier. To fill in where I can't and to supplement even what I can ... to help my girls become better little people everyday. Because of you, our lives are richly blessed in ways I never could have imagined.
THANK YOU.
To you: Miss Michelle, Aunt Michele, Miss Lisa, Angry Piggy, My Little Pony Lady, Mrs "Mr England", Butterfly Glasses Lady, Miss Kristy, Miss Keyona, Miss Anna, Miss Dianna, Miss Lisa, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Caron, Aunt Betsy, Aunt Linda, Miss Melissa, Miss Kathleen, Miss Beth, Aunt Jill, Miss Jocelyn, Miss Dorie, Miss Julee, Miss Julie of the gross orange shoes, Miss Virginia Beach Stefanie, Miss Tammy, Aunt Erika, Miss MaryAnn the cat lover, Miss Trader Jennifer, Miss Lainey, Miss Laurie, "the other" Miss Laurie, Miss Susan with the great hair, Miss Renie, the dance Miss Leslie ...
and to the countless other women that I failed to list here: to you who love my children EVERY SINGLE DAY ... from the bottom of my heart, Happy Not-mom Mother's Day to you. I celebrate and salute you.
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