The Extra Mommas

We do a really, really good job at celebrating the moms in our lives for Mother's Day. My mom is one of the most amazing women I know, and I am so thankful for the blood, sweat, tears, and love that she poured into my brother and me.  I also had two incredible grandmothers who lived until I was well into my 20's and a great grandmother that I was lucky enough to share close to 11 years with.

My girls have me, my mom, their other grandma, and now also a stepmom and a step grandma, and we love them and teach them and encourage their little hearts to grow into big hearts. That's a lot of great mom power loving on my kiddos.

But as I sit here tonight, I am thinking of the not-mom moms that my girlies have as well. The aunts, and the almost aunts. The baseball aunts and the neighbor aunts and the church aunts. We don't call them all aunt, but that is the role they fill ... and in my view aunts are just as important as moms. These ladies didn't give birth to my girls but they love them as if they did.    They often have special names ... and those of you who don't have a special name yet ... just wait. You will.

You love on my kids and hug on them and teach them. You listen to them talk and ask a million questions. You answer them patiently, sometimes long after my patience has run out. You share laps and nachos and ice cream cones and popcorn. You share laughter and hugs and tears and smiles. You share baseballs and pencils and bobbleheads and blankets and rain delays. You carpool and give snacks. You teach them Bible verses and you demonstrate compassion. You cheer their success and you encourage where they fall short.  You put your actions where your words are and your heart where your actions are ... and you make the words "it takes a village" ring true in my life every day.

Single mom mode is hard. And you all step up to the plate every day to make it easier. To fill in where I can't and to supplement even what I can ... to help my girls become better little people everyday. Because of you, our lives are richly blessed in ways I never could have imagined.  

THANK YOU. 

To you: Miss Michelle, Aunt Michele, Miss Lisa, Angry Piggy, My Little Pony Lady, Mrs "Mr England", Butterfly Glasses Lady, Miss Kristy, Miss Keyona, Miss Anna, Miss Dianna, Miss Lisa, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Caron, Aunt Betsy, Aunt Linda, Miss Melissa, Miss Kathleen, Miss Beth, Aunt Jill, Miss Jocelyn, Miss Dorie, Miss Julee, Miss Julie of the gross orange shoes, Miss Virginia Beach Stefanie, Miss Tammy, Aunt Erika, Miss MaryAnn the cat lover, Miss Trader Jennifer, Miss Lainey, Miss Laurie, "the other" Miss Laurie, Miss Susan with the great hair, Miss Renie, the dance Miss Leslie ...  

and to the countless other women that I failed to list here:  to you who love my children EVERY SINGLE DAY  ... from the bottom of my heart, Happy Not-mom Mother's Day to you. I celebrate and salute you. 

Mighty (Five Minute Friday)

I'm going to squeak in just under the deadline again. Not sure I like the pattern I am seeing, but at least I am STILL WRITING.

The rules are simple:
1. set your timer for 5 minutes. Write on the word of the week. Don't edit. Don't backtrack. Just toss it out there.
2. Link up with the rest of the gang over at Lisa-Jo's
3. Visit the one who linked before you and give them some encouragement. That's the heart of the Five Minute Friday community.

<bonus ... if you're on Twitter, come hang with us on Thursday nights at the #FMFParty >

This week, we're writing on
MIGHTY

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word mighty is Mighty Mouse. "Here I come to save the day ... Mighty Mouse is on the way ..."  At least that's how I remember the words to the little jingle. There are days when I wish Mighty Mouse lived with me. Or at least would pay me a visit. Save me from the mountain of laundry. Or the mountain of unfinished work. Or the pile of dishes in the sink. Reality check - there's no mouse - or person - that can save me from any of that mess. Welcome to motherhood.

But it's not really about being saved from it. It's about banding together and living through it. Not looking only at the destination (goodness, I am not ready for these girls to grow up and leave the nest!) but rather how we work one day at a time to get there. What can we treasure along the way?

And while we think about that, who can we help on the way? Who is not as fortunate as we are? Who needs some love today? Or a helping hand? Or a home-cooked meal? And while as one person - one family - we cannot do much, we CAN do a little. And if we do a little, and you do a little, and the next one does a little, together we are mighty - and can make a mighty big difference.

As my 5 minutes tick down, here are 3 places where my girls and I are doing our little part to make a mighty big difference:

the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (my personal page) which is May 3-4, 2014
the Birmingham, Alabama NF Walk (for my dear friends Renie, Philip and their sweet, sweet kiddos
and the Community Kitchen and Welcome Center which is the love project embraced by the Five Minute Friday Community and beyond. Making a difference in a community in South Africa.

Giving Thanks

The Nationals have a great contest running right now. Write a comment on their post and say what you're thankful for. One lucky winner gets their family holiday picture at Nats Park. Sounds cool, right?

What I love most about it is that since it is a "leave a comment" contest, you can read what other people are thankful for. Heartwarming. Pleasant change from a lot of comments that lots of grumpy folks leave lots of places.

So, here's what I wrote - a little look into my "things I am thankful for this year."

This year, I am thankful for:

Family

Friends

Rain Delays that turned into Dance Parties

Curly W’s

A community united despite tragedy

Hugs

Kisses

Tears

Freedom

Sharing Memories of Loved Ones Departed too Soon

Our new home beckoning with excitement; our old home bidding adieu with memories to last a lifetime

Heroes that give of their time to serve our soldiers, sailors, airmen and veterans

Friends who invite us to join in the celebration of those heroes

An entire ballpark singing the National Anthem as one voice

Online screen names that blossomed into real lifefriendships

The opportunity to raise two little Nats Fans with tender hearts who have endless possibilities before them as they grow into young women, ready to face the world, with a love of people tucked inside to guide them through (and a love of baseball carried along the way)

The amazing adventure yet to come

 --------------------

What are YOU thankful for this year?

True (Five Minute Friday)

It is time for Five Minute Friday! Where we stop, set the timer, and pour out whatever is inside for 5 minutes. This week, the word is TRUE. Everyone's sharing a true story.

The quick rules of FMF:
1. write for 5 minutes. No editing, backtracking, overthinking
2. link up over here with Lisa-Jo and the gang
3. Visit the post (or two or a bunch) before you, and leave them a little encouragement. That's the whole heart of the community at FMF.

So, come and share your thoughts with us.

TRUE
The true story of how I came to twitter, and where it brought me. A friend told me that this guy I was seeing was on twitter, and pretty funny. (I knew about the humor, was CLUELESS about Twitter). So I built a handle and off we were. As of today, two years later, the guy is well out of the picture (different story for a different day) but Twitter stayed. I started playing around with it a little bit more. Thanks to Lisa-Jo and some of the other FMF lovelies. Loved to read you all. Loved to see what you were doing. Didn't love to write. Until I got brave in January (on the end of my OneWord365 for 2012) and then I started linking up. Which encouraged me to meet some of the internet friends (in)RL. And that made me less afraid of reaching out to others.

Turns out there's a GREAT little (not so little) Twitter community around my Nats. And thanks to the wonder of the hashtag or whatnot, I found a few of them. And so the baseball talk began.

Took several months before I met any of them in person. But one day we did (and I am so glad we did!) And then those folks introduced me to a few others. And now I know quite a crowd.

My favorite part of these Nats folks (well, besides tweeting through all the games we're not at together) is how they can take THIS:

and turn it into THIS:

and THIS!

Talk about a little online community that made real life awesome. Because a rain delay is ALWAYS better shared with friends.

Finding a Little Normal (Behind the Scenes)

It's Behind the Scenes Tuesday (on Thursday for me). Where we tell you the real life behind the picture. sometimes funny, sometimes weird. Sometimes unbelievable, sometimes sobering.. Sometimes heartwarming. Always real.  Feel free to link up with Crystal to share your story or read a few others.

This week's picture:

Hi, friends. You may have heard on the news about the tragedy at the NavyYard on Monday. At least, I would assume you did. Hard for me to tell, since I live in the midst of it, so I am not sure what national coverage existed beyond the DC metro area.

Hit really close to home - literally - and figuratively for me. I have a college friend who works there. Thankfully, he was in training in California this week. I have a new acquaintance (thanks to Twitter meetups and my beloved Nationals) who works there. Thankfully he was ok. But 12 people were not OK. And their families are now dealing with the aftermath.

And that NavyYard? That's a mere few blocks from Nats Park. Where we go ALL the time. The Navy used some of the parking lots as staging for families to reunite with loved ones. And as the uncertainty in the following hours ensued, the Nats game was postponed. Two thumbs up to the Nats and MLB for recognizing that safety was important, and that life is bigger than baseball.

Tuesday the Nats were back at it, playing a double header (to make up Monday, plus the regular Tuesday game). And they came out to play. Swept the double header (WOOT!) from the Atlanta Braves (WOOT WOOT!).  But what struck me Tuesday was how much the community - the Nationals community - embraced our NavyYard neighbors. The word passed quickly through the social media networks to wear blue and gold. (For you non baseball readers, the Nats are mostly red & white, with accents of blue. Nice, patriotic, fitting for DC - but not US Navy colors).

I put my usual Nats attire away and instead chose my US Olympic shirt (from the Torino games ... yeah, my shirts are old), and since all my gold is tied to black (Vanderbilt), I went for the "mom save the day stash". I have a box of ribbons and beads to make hair ribbons for my girls. Covers a multitude of "need to dress like a _____ day" school projects. Sure enough, lots of blue and yellow/gold to be had in there. So I whipped out a hair ribbon and donned it proudly.

I headed out to the ballpark with tons of other folks sporting the Navy Blue and Gold as well. Embracing the community, and standing together to support our neighbors.

To the families of the men and women lost on Monday, your loved ones served us -- all of us -- well, and we are thankful for them, and sorry for your loss.

To the Nationals community - thank you for putting aside baseball and being real neighbors. And thank you for coming back to the game we love, allowing us to look for a little "normal" and find some joy on the day after a very terrible day.

I'm proud to be a Nats fan, never more so than this week.

The Walk (the non 5 minute version)

So. By now, you may have figured out that I walked the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, Washington DC this year. It was my 4th year. If you're unfamiliar with the walk, here's the short version of how it works: you pick a city, you raise $1800 (or more) through the generous gifts from your friends, family, friends-of-friends and even perfect strangers. You get up at a wee hour on a Saturday morning. You walk 26.2 miles. You sleep (you hope!). You awake Sunday and walk 13.1 more miles. That's 39.3 miles in 2 days.  After 4 years = I've hoofed 157.2 miles.  Not counting the training walks that lead up to the event.


But to me, this walk is about so much more than just the walking. Sure, it's a great way to lose some weight or get in better shape. Those are great bonus items that come out of the experience.

First, the funds raised stay in the local community where the walk is conducted. So the walkers this year raised $4.5 MILLION and it stays here in DC/NoVA/MD  (trivia - around here if you see DMV it could either mean the dept of motor vehicles OR DC/MD/VA. so check context). (Click here to see the grants given out this year. They give it out at the closing ceremony, so all the walkers know their immediate impact. Very cool)

Someone asked me why I walk. That's a long story - so feel free to read on.  Or just skip to the end for rest of  the pictures.

I started with the 2010 walk. Why? Someone told me they didn't think I could do it. (there's nothing quite like indirectly daring a Jersey girl to do something to get her fired up).  So I decided I would. I started my training and my fundraising and had a friend join me on the journey. It's not easy, but it's nothing like what the women (and men!) who battle breast cancer face every single day. Those folks are doing brave, hard work. This? This is a 2 day strain. And when you do it with friends, in honor of family, in memory of a loved one, it's an inspirational weekend like nothing I've experienced anywhere else.

Along the way over the years, I have met a lot of AMAZING people.

Year 1: I met a woman - she was 30 years old. Yes, 30. There's a history of breast cancer in her family, so she went to the doctor for a baseline mammogram. That way they'd know what to watch for later. She came home scheduled for a double mastectomy. Remember her age? 30.  I walk for her. One of my dearest friends' mother-in-law lost her battle a few years ago, after fighting valiantly for many years. I walk for her. And for her granddaughter that she may know a world with a cure.

Year 2: I met my walker buddy Jessica around mile 6, just before we got to the White House. We walked every single step together this weekend.  (more on that below) We're both walking, among other reasons, with the hope that our little girls will never have to walk. My tentmate that year was an Army sergeant. She uses part of her leave every year to walk - in honor of her sister and in memory of her mom. I walk for them.

Year 3: I met my walker buddy Reid around mile 10 in Georgetown. He lost his lovely wife, Ellicia, Dec 31, 2006 after a brave battle. He walks every year in her memory so this year (2013) was walk #7 for him. She left behind a loving husband, 2 darling children and countless other family members and friends. Reid's active duty in the US Army. So he serves us all every day and then spends his free time (he uses leave for this) training and walking every year in Washington. DC was a special city for them and no matter where he's stationed, he returns to DC every year to carry on. I walk for Ellicia, Reid, their kids and millions more just like them. Families still fighting, or families fighting to carry on after a loss.

Year 4: I've added a lot of names to my walking list. My aunt. Elisa - a fellow Vandy alum. You can read her story here. Monica - a friend of a friend. Elissa - a friend of another friend. And Brandie.  I met Brandie through twitter - as we were both talking about our walk journey last year. Brandie walks in Chicago. She fights every day. You can read her journey here.

That's a lot of folks - and a lot of links. But that's the thing about breast cancer. Did you know that EVERY 3 minutes someone else is diagnosed? So I walk, for all these folks, and for my girls - so that someday it won't be every 3 minutes. The theme from the walk a few years ago was "Every statistic is someone's best friend". How true that is. We're all connected on this journey to a cure.

This year's phrase: the more of us who walk, the more of us survive.  So I set out this year on a gorgeous sunny day in DC. Couldn't have asked for anything better.  In light of all the rain we've had since Monday, I am that much more thankful for the sunshiney blessing of the weekend.  The walk starts with an opening ceremony.

** back up. The experience starts Friday night at event eve. Where you hand in your last checks (I was at $4092 with the checks as of last Friday but donations are still coming in!!) And you can sign up for next year - I did, I was #206 at 7:30 Friday night - and you can start to get the adrenaline flowing through your veins. The music is rocking, the people are dancing, and the town is painted pink. It's a sight to behold. Which means I didn't get any pictures. HA!**

So Saturday morning (I hotel it Friday night so Dad doesn't have to drive me downtown at 5am. KUDOS to my mom and dad who come and stay with my kids every year - and bonus shout out to my dad who always drops me off and picks me up at the end. You guys are rock stars and I am SO thankful for you!!).  Where was I?  Oh yes, Saturday morning I walked about 3/4 a mile from my hotel to the start line. (Metro isn't open that early. And I never stay at the event hotel so I can't ride the shuttle. But - you always need a good warm up before the start, right?!) I dropped off my gear and met up with Jessica. I signed the pillar.

Washington DC Pillar at the start line

Refilled my Gatorade bottle. And then we waited for the event to start. There's always an opening ceremony. (I learned after year 1 to walk with kleenex handy at the beginning). We learned how much money the participants raised ($4.5M!). We met some amazing walkers & crew. There was the 27 year survivor who raised over $102,000 this year. And this was her 10th walk!  There was the man who lost his wife, but thanks to clinical trials like the ones supported by the funds we raise, she was able to see their daughter get onto the kindergarten bus before she died. There were more - so many more. Stories of survivors and families and friends. Sisters and brothers. Moms and Grandmas and kids. It's really emotional and completely overwhelming. And we were all there because we're In It to End It.   And then we all joined hands - we're all connected in this fight for a cure.  And then after we were all sobbing (ok, not all of us, but a LOT of us, me in particular) they played some awesome peppy music and we hit the road.   Walking through the city is a great way to see the sights. And early on a sunny morning when the city is still sleeping just made it that much more spectacular.  Like this glow on the Jefferson Memorial.

And then the clouds cleared. So by the time we hit the Capitol, it looked like this:

And then we made it to mile 9. Last year, two of Jessica's BFFs walked with us. This year they were our greatest cheerleaders. So at mile 9 (which was actually the same spot on the road -- new route this year -- that Jessica and I met a few years ago, Stacie and Michelle went out to breakfast at a restaurant along the route. They requested a window seat so they could cheer for us. And they got the whole restaurant involved. WOOOT!  Here's the sequence of events as we walked by:

we hear the banging on the windows

we run up to the window like hooligans (action shot)

cue awesome pose of happy walkers

 And then we walked on. White House? check. Georgetown? Check. NBC Studios? Check.  Sock Monkey? Magic bust bus? check, check.

Mile 26 (end day 1)?  CHECK! Started around 7am, finished around 5pm.


After I reached the end of day 1's route, I hung out in the wellness village. Dinner was pasta, veggies, salad, bread and BROWNIES. Shower trucks were provided so we could clean up. And then visit the medical tent (treat my one blister) and the massage therapist - hooray for a free massage!. And then it's "camping out for a cure" night. There are tent angels who set  up the tents for us. My tentmate this year was a lovely woman named Nancy and this was her first walk. She's walking for her sister.  Lights out around 8:30 and we were all tucked in our pink tents. I am not kidding, this is one of my best nights of sleep all year. Love being outside. (As long as all the campers remember to not slam the porta-potty doors in the middle of the night. That's the worst noise EVER.  Sunday morning came early, even with the early turn in Saturday. Took down the tent and headed across the field for breakfast: eggs, frenct toast, home fries, fruit, and the best oatmeal I've ever eaten. I look forward to the oatmeal every year.  I don't know how they make great oatmeal for 2,000+ people, but I am thankful.

We hit the route at 7:30 and began the journey to the end. Included Embassy Row and a trek by the National Cathedral.  (of course no pictures of that this year!).  Jessica and I hit some tough miles from 6-9 on Sunday but powered  trudged through it together and then our second (or was it 4th by now) wind kicked in. The last few miles actually went by quickly and before we knew it we were at the end!

Thanks to Jessica for walking alongside me for every single step. And to Stacie and Michelle and the hundreds of others who cheered us on. Thanks to the crew who kept us fed, filled our water bottles tirelessly, and kept the streets safe for our walking.  We could not have done it without you.

Thanks most of all, though, to the fighters. The survivors. The men and women who battle this disease every day. May you continue to bravely soldier on. May you ask for help when you need it and may there always be someone there to lend the hand you need. Until the day we see a cure, I am proud to keep walking for you.  For the more of us who walk, the more of us survive.

 
Click here to see the flickr photostream with a ton of photos from the event taken by the camera crew)

PS
A few fun facts about the weekend:
in the 10 miles of the Avon Walk, across all the cities, the walkers have walked more than 5.9 million miles to date. And eaten more than 248,000 graham-cracker-PB&J sandwiches.  I account for 157 of these miles and at least 20 of those sandwiches over the past 4 years. 
 

Teaching Appreciation

It's coming up on teacher appreciation week. And it's true, I don't think I do enough to show my kids' teachers how amazing they are. Working on that.  Jen Hatmaker does a bang-up job of putting this in words. If you haven't read it, you should take a gander over there.

One of the things I value about S's teacher this year is that she's teaching the students to appreciate each other. I am especially thankful for this, as S was "the new kid" after Christmas break - our move caused her to switch elementary schools.  Here's how the program works:

S's Star of the Week poster

Every week, there is a "Star of the Week" in class. The poster comes home (BLANK) with the next week's star kid on Monday. The student fills it out (this is S's).  I'll put her responses in parentheses.  It contains stuff like how old you are (8), how you get to school (walking), who's in your family (mom, A, Whiskers & TicTac), what do you want to be when you grow up (art teacher).

It asks for your favorite color (purple), animal (cat), sport (baseball), school subject (math & music), food (chicken poppyseed).  Basic stuff.

Then it gets a little more fun / insightful.  How are you a star? (I help my friends when I can).  I show others I care by ____ (playing with them when they are alone).  And then you write 3 super-cool facts about yourself. (I was entertained listening to S debate for many hours which 3 facts to choose. We had a long list. Here are the winners:
1. I went to Tennessee by car.
2. In Australia there is a city named the same as me.
3.  I want to know more about King Tut.)

 Then you color it in, add a picture (or 4... ha ha) of whatever zings you.  Bring it back to school Friday morning.

  On Friday after lunch, you present your poster to the class.  And then for the Friday writing assignment, EACH student makes you a page to put in your "Star of the Week Book". They all write something they learned, or something they have in common with you, or something they appreciate about you. And they draw a picture. And the teacher assembles it into a little book (the star draws the cover for their book while the class is making the pages).  And your star gets to bring home a treasure of memories about what her classmates value about her.

Here are some of  my favorite things from some of S's pages (I left the spelling errors and excessive exclamation points in tact as that is part of the fun of 2nd grade)

* I love the Natinols too!!!
* I play baseball. You are cooooooooolll!
* I like purple too (this friend drew her a purple star with her name in it)
* I like the way you smile.
* You went to the Nationals first game that's awesome! (with a lovely drawing of S & A and 2 purple cats)
* Your a great friend
* WE DONE AWESOME ON ARE SHOW!!!  (reference to 2nd grade concert / assembly which was a couple of weeks ago)
* Did you find Nemo and Dory in Sydney?
* You are a very nice friend. I bet your a great big sister!
* You rock Sydney
* Your cats have good names

and my absolute favorite

*You have an amasing laugh

So, here's a huge shout out to S's 2nd grade teacher ... my superstar of the week this week ... who is taking the time to have her students learn to appreciate each other. We would all do well to take time to share with our friends, our colleagues, our community what it is about them we value or appreciate.

inRL 2013

I spent this weekend at a conference with 6,000 other women. Right here, at home. And, everywhere else around the world, too. Made some new friends. Met a neighbor (we're 4 blocks apart?) but went all the way to Annandale to do it. Laughed till I cried. And cried until I laughed. We spent the weekend talking about STAYING. Staying when it's hard. Staying when you don't want to. Being the one to reach out, even when you are afraid. It takes courage, it takes love. Sometimes it takes a kick in the behind, or a friend reaching out for your hand and DRAGGING you along. But it's worth it.

I took a lot of interesting tidbits from the weekend. So rather than a long flowery post (which really, I am not sure I can write one of those anyway. I mostly write in 5 minute spurts, with a prompting from Lisa-Jo), I thought I would just bring you my list of a-ha thoughts from my incredible inRL experience.

* I don't remember who said what, and who thought what, and what are my own thoughts. So don't assume these words are mine. Especially if you KNOW they are yours, or someone else's. Just take them in. I'm sharing what I heard as well as what I "thinkity-thinked" on my own.




On mentors
- We mentor just by being WILLING to tell our stories, because God gave us each a story to tell.
- Never be afraid to speak encouragement into someone else's life.
- Speak life into the people in your sphere
- It's walking over the mountains AND through the valleys
- It is NOT about seeing results, it IS about planting seeds
- It's not about being perfect. It's about being perfectly open.  
- They meet you where you're at. They let you be yourself. They sometimes just "guide the crazy" a little bit.

On community
- We don't need information. (you can google anything). We need connection.
- God built us for community
- Small is the new big
- We all have a different journey. But sometimes the bits of your journey are something someone else needs / wants / has been through too. Share your bits, and others will feel willing to share their bits too.

On girlfriends
- We are strong
- We are resilient
- We are survivors
- We are women of hope
- We are huggers; criers; lovers; laughers.
- Above all, we are REAL.  

And ... it's OK to say ... My life is a mess this week. How's yours?  :-)

-----
Here's a peek at my NoVA inRL ladies from this weekend

Friend (Five Minute Friday)

 It's Friday! And better than that, it's inRL Friday. WOOOT! I'm doing the happy dance over here - it's one of my favorite days of the year. And Lisa-Jo picked a FANTASTIC word for today. So, in preparation for my community experience tonight, I get to take a few extra minutes and focus on my friends. Can't beat it! So, here's the rules: 

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

and then here we go. 

FRIEND

Go.

What is a friend? Depends on the day, on the time. It's someone who's walked the journey I am walking, one step - one day - one year ahead of me. Or it's the gal who's holding my hand as we wait for the kindergarten bus to arrive. Or the girl who stays up with me night after night when I need to cry after my heart's been broken. Or the girl who stays up with me all night to spread the school spirit love a little wider. It's the girl who picks m-n-ms out of her wedding reception bowls alongside me and it's the girl who loves me when I am at my worst. The one who comes over when my house is a wreck and hugs my kids, and hugs my neck and says it's ok. It's the girl who calls when she knows I need her, even when I don't know I need her. It's the one who asks me to stand beside her on the most important day in her life, and the girl who stood beside me at mine. It's the mom who holds you when you think you are failing at being a mom and the girl who picks you up and raises your spirit when it's at its lowest. It's the woman who takes you out on a kid free night and makes you laugh until you cry. It's the girl who walks 39 miles beside you for a cause you both believe in. It's the girl who travels across the ocean with you so you don't have to go on vacation alone. Tonight it's all the thousands of women who tuned into #inRL and laughed, cried, shared, embraced the hard world of community together.

It's the girl, the mom, the woman, who God puts in your life right at the moment you need her most.

Stop.

Side note -- I describe a few of my different friends from different times of life above. But this picture below is one of my dearest friends, see note about standing beside her on the most important day :)  Even though the distance between us is far greater than either of us would prefer.

Community (in)RL

Sometimes you find yourself on a journey you NEVER IN YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION expected you'd be on. And sometimes in the midst of that journey you feel alone. Completely alone. As if no one has ever possibly been there.

It's not really a great feeling, wandering the great unknown, scared and confused. But it's at those very moments that community appears and embraces you. When you least expect it.  So it goes with my story.  Learning to navigate the world of single mommy-ing. Learning to redefine my family.  Dealing with frustration and learning how to forgive. Some days just figuring out how to put one foot in front of the other and make until bedtime, so I could collapse and do it all again the next day.  And right in the midst of all that, the Lord directed my reading - someone sent me a post from somewhere (no clue where now) which had a link to another post, which had a link to somewhere else, which led me to (in)courage. 

Here I found so much of what I was seeking. Other ladies walking journeys. Some like mine, some totally different, but all of us seeking a way to be encouraged, or to BE an encouragement to another. You can share your heart. You can share your fear. You can share your prayer requests. And someone, often lots of someones, will respond. You'll laugh together; cry together; groan at the latest sticky-fingered mess one of you is cleaning up.  All on-line, from the safe place behind your computer screen.  Which for a long time was just what I needed.

And then, last year, the lovelies who spearhead this effort had a stroke of genius. And an opportunity was given to start to make the community at the keyboard a community of real live hugging ladies too.  (live hugs ... and chocolate ... a winner for sure).  So they embarked on the trek to bring a conference - for all of us. No travel. No hotels. No overnight babysitting extravaganzas.  One night at home, in your PJs with a cup of cocoa.  And one glorious Saturday morning where a few (or a lot) of the names you've read in comments or at the end of postings, become real live people. Hugs, tears, laughs... tons of laughs.  Sharing our hearts and our lives in real life.  Powerful weekend. Life changing for me.  I got to know Rachel a lot better (she goes to my church - we should have done this long ago. But life gets in the way.) And I got to meet Amy.  And Lisa-Jo (I had been reading her stuff for a year - and she knew one of my college girlfriends - and she lived only 20 miles from me ... and I had NO IDEA. That's the confusing - and fun - world of the internet).  We shared stories. We shared snacks. We laughed; we cried. We prayed and we (in)couraged each other.  

I'm so excited that we get to do it again this year. And it's only TWO WEEKS AWAY!  It's not too late to join in. Find a meet-up where you are - Ireland or Illinois or Japan or Jersey.  Or even if you can only join us from home on Friday night and from your laptop again on Saturday, your heart will be blessed. It's fun, fabulous ... and did I mention FREE?  So come play. Register here. Bring your online community to your real life location.

See you there :)