Writer (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to my Five Minute Friday post of the week. Join the gang of us over at Lisa-Jo's, won't you? And write along with us. The rules are easy, the company is grand.

1. Set your timer for 5 minutes and write on the prompt.
2. Link up your post with the crew over here.
3. Then go visit the one who posted before you. Read the post. Leave a little sunshine and encouragement in the comments. That's the heart of the Five Minute Friday community - and the only unbreakable rule.

And for a bonus, feel free to join us over on Twitter on Thursday evenings for a little #FMFParty twitter party. We'd all love to chat with you.

WRITER

I never really considered myself a writer until all this blogging, thanks to the world of Five Minute Friday and the encouragement of some on-line friends who have turned into real life friends.

However, I have always been a letter writer. No, I don't know why a letter writer doesn't equate to a writer-writer in my mind. It is what it is. My grandmother taught me at an early age to write thank you notes. And that grew into hello, how are you notes. and a host of other things.

Then when I was starting high school, I started meeting folks at the political conferences I went to with my dad. Fun people. People that I wanted to stay in touch with, and people that I would see summer after summer, for a week at a time, but that was the only time we saw each other. LOUSY. And this was in the days before email. And they lived far away (California and Kentucky and Colorado and all kinds of places) so there was no phone calling allowed. (Pre-everyone-had-a-cell-phone ... nevermind with-unlimited-minutes). So we did the only thing we could - we wrote. Good old fashioned pen pals.

Over the years some of us became closer than others. And a most petered out after we went away to

Joshua James Northup (1976-2006)

college, without the summer reunions to connect and ground us. Growing up stinks sometimes. But a few - a particular few - kept in touch. Josh and I wrote often - twice a week throughout high school. Once a month or so while in college. [**my five minutes just ended. But I am not quite done. So breaking rule #1...] It turned out I went to college with a few guys who knew Josh (he was from KY, I am a Jersey girl) and I remember how fun it was to connect our worlds a little bit beyond just the two of us. To meet someone else who knew and loved him. And right after graduation, I got married, so we were in touch less frequently. But always Christmas cards - until the year he died, and his mom had to send me the tough letter ... "dear Jen, I found your Christmas card on Josh's desk, and I am so sorry to tell you..." A beautiful heart - a beautiful life - ended too soon due to an unknown heart condition. Josh was a treasure and a blessing to all who knew him, and I am thankful I still have some of his precious letters saved. Wonderful memories.

out to dinner - sharing with Spy Guy, who my kids traveling with me

And there's one other pen pal.
23+ years later. Yes, I am dating myself, I am still in contact with one of the original gang. Robb and I started writing the summer I turned 14. He split his time between Connecticut with his dad and California with his mom. So my letters went up the coast and across the country. I always used to skip to the mailbox, hoping a letter was in the box. All through HS and all through college. We visited once in Connecticut at his dad's house - this was about 3 years after we'd been writing, because I could drive by then. He wrote after he went to college in Ohio. And then I moved to Nashville, and still the letters came. He moved to North Carolina after he graduated, and I learned a new address. He stopped to visit me in Nashville my sophomore year, on his way west back to California. And still the letters came. He flew to NJ for my wedding, and then the letters became less frequent - but still, they came. Christmas cards, and even though the rest of the world was on email by then, we still wrote. Two kids later, and the letters were very few and far between, but I tried to never miss a Christmas card.

riding the carousel on the boardwalk

Eventually, I got divorced, and then I found myself with some free time on my hands, and my girls were away for an extended visit with their dad one summer, so I called up one of my oldest friends and booked myself a trip to California. He showed me around his world. I spent some time with his mom. I saw where he worked and the delightful kids he teaches every day. We played on the boardwalk and rode roller coasters and laughed until we cried. We went to an Oakland A's game together. (his one flaw ... he's a Yankees fan ;)  ) And we reminisced how this visit was even like the early years we'd known each other - when we wrote for months on end, and then hung out for just a week. Only to repeat the cycle for another year.

With cell phones and email and facebook, we're a little more technologically advanced now - but there's still days when we resort to the good old pen and paper. And I smile every time I walk to the mailbox and see a letter from him. Friends for life, united by the power of the word "writer."

Mighty (Five Minute Friday)

I'm going to squeak in just under the deadline again. Not sure I like the pattern I am seeing, but at least I am STILL WRITING.

The rules are simple:
1. set your timer for 5 minutes. Write on the word of the week. Don't edit. Don't backtrack. Just toss it out there.
2. Link up with the rest of the gang over at Lisa-Jo's
3. Visit the one who linked before you and give them some encouragement. That's the heart of the Five Minute Friday community.

<bonus ... if you're on Twitter, come hang with us on Thursday nights at the #FMFParty >

This week, we're writing on
MIGHTY

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word mighty is Mighty Mouse. "Here I come to save the day ... Mighty Mouse is on the way ..."  At least that's how I remember the words to the little jingle. There are days when I wish Mighty Mouse lived with me. Or at least would pay me a visit. Save me from the mountain of laundry. Or the mountain of unfinished work. Or the pile of dishes in the sink. Reality check - there's no mouse - or person - that can save me from any of that mess. Welcome to motherhood.

But it's not really about being saved from it. It's about banding together and living through it. Not looking only at the destination (goodness, I am not ready for these girls to grow up and leave the nest!) but rather how we work one day at a time to get there. What can we treasure along the way?

And while we think about that, who can we help on the way? Who is not as fortunate as we are? Who needs some love today? Or a helping hand? Or a home-cooked meal? And while as one person - one family - we cannot do much, we CAN do a little. And if we do a little, and you do a little, and the next one does a little, together we are mighty - and can make a mighty big difference.

As my 5 minutes tick down, here are 3 places where my girls and I are doing our little part to make a mighty big difference:

the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (my personal page) which is May 3-4, 2014
the Birmingham, Alabama NF Walk (for my dear friends Renie, Philip and their sweet, sweet kiddos
and the Community Kitchen and Welcome Center which is the love project embraced by the Five Minute Friday Community and beyond. Making a difference in a community in South Africa.

The Cupboard (Behind the Scenes)

Welcome to Behind the Scenes, the link up hosted by Crystal, where we share real life. Behind every perfect picture there's a story - what REALLY happened that led to the cute photo.

Or in this case, the "look how clean my cupboard is" photo. This is under my sink. This morning at 6:30am. While the girls and I are getting lunches packed and breakfasts made and backpacks ready.

"It's empty?" Oh, hmmm. You noticed that, did you? It's not usually empty. Or clean like this. Well, I can't even say it's clean because I am not quite done.

This morning I went under there to get a new trashbag. And discovered that my dishwashing soap - the giant Costco sized bottle of Palmolive - yes the GREEN gallon sized one - had tipped over. And leaked. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Well, really I guess it could have been tipped over since earlier than last night, but I'm trying to convince myself that I must have knocked it over last night when I put the windex away.

So, there was a very sticky layer of green liquid soap over the whole bottom of the cupboard. Gross. Clean, but gross. I've never been more thankful that I keep most of the stuff under there in plastic buckets - so I needed to wash the bottom of the cabinet and the bottoms of all the bins, but other than all my remaining dishwashing soap being spilled, I didn't really lose anything.

It may, however, smell like Palmolive in my kitchen for the next two weeks. Or longer.
And - my cabinet is nice and clean.

Joy (Five Minute Friday)

another week where I don't write until Thursday. But another week where I still made the time to write. Will come in just under an hour before the link closes. That works. It's still done, after all.

And then maybe I will write again tomorrow. Or late tonight. Or ... wait until next Thursday and scramble to fit it in.

But Five Minute Friday is where it's at. Where we stop and just write with no room for criticism, even of ourselves. The rules are simple:
1. Find the word of the week. Set your timer for 5 minutes. Write whatever you think of.
2. Link up with the gang over at Lisa-Jo's Bench.
3. Visit the one who linked before you. Leave a comment. Bring a ray of sunshine. That's the one unbreakable rule. The heart of the Five Minute Friday Community. So pull up a page and join us!

< and if you want to chat a bit, look us up on Twitter on Thursday nights - under #FMFParty We'd love to see you there! >

This week, here's my 5 minutes on:

JOY.

Some days joy comes easy. The kids have smiles from the time they get up and no one bickers on the way to the breakfast table. Some days it's a little harder - there's a gloomy cloud in the sky. The meeting that ran over and made you late the whole rest of the day for everything. The kids who won't brush their teeth without telling you seventy-eleven stories about everything that pops into their rum-amok brains right as they think it. Some days it is downright HARD. Hard to find the specks of joy in the midst of the mess.
Today was one of those days. At first. I found out that a friend who had been bravely battling breast cancer lost her battle. She's in a better place now, but she left behind a husband and a little girl. Younger than my youngest. It's hard to find JOY in that. So I had to dig a little deeper today. Look for some joy elsewhere.

And then I got great news. A new life. Some other friends welcomed their firstborn son in the wee hours. So as one life has ended and left us with memories, and tears for the moment; a new life has begun. And then I got some more good news. My dear friends who have been waiting YEARS to hear of adopting a daughter from China got the last piece of paperwork today. They have their appointment at the Consulate. A journey that began 9 years ago while my oldest was still in her newborn days is finally coming to the destination. They'll be traveling in about 3 weeks - a family of 3 - and then will return home a family of 4.

And as I rode the emotional roller coaster today, from loss to life, I was reminded of this:
in all things we choose. We can choose to look for the joy in every day. And on days when we think we can't possibly find it, then on those days The Lord drops something joyous into our lives to remind us that it IS there. Always. If we only look.

John 16:22 "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."

With one farewell and two hellos, I am thankful to have found joy in today, even in the sadness.

Stop.

PS. Until today, I walked in Elisa's honor. As of today, I walk in her memory. Every year, until we find a cure. If you'd like to give to my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer fund, here is where you can help. Jen's Avon Walk page 

Journey (OneWord365 March check in)

We've been studying through Exodus in my Sunday School class. One theme keeps coming back - or rather one theme keeps sticking it's nose into the forefront of my thoughts. That is that God, when delivering the nation of Israel out of Egypt, he protected them - kept them from experiencing anything too strong with battles of other nations, until they were prepared. Until they'd changed their mindset. They had been slaves for 430 years, and they had no other way of thinking. For generations they had been slaves. When they first left, they didn't know how else to behave. And when things go hard, they actually had the thought - maybe we'd be better off back in Egypt.

As that sank in - that they'd consider going back to being slaves because it was familiar, that even though it was hard, it was something known and safe - it made me sad. How terrible to be willing to miss the wonderful place the Lord had prepared in the promised land, because it would be a tough journey. Because it was unknown. Because their faith wasn't strong enough to trust that the Lord KNEW the end destination was better than they could even imagine.

And then I thought about where I am in one particular piece of my journey. I've got some tough decisions ahead - and they're very close. At least they *should* be. But instead of running ahead - instead of resting in the knowledge that God has orchestrated this change - that He has given me a path to follow - I am turning around and running back to Egypt! WHAT?! Even as I sit and write this, I see it. I see the reluctance to move on. I'm in a safe place. It's comfortable. It has been good. It has served its purpose. But I feel the calling - the need to move forward. Frankly, I am scared. The next step on this particular leg of the journey is going to take some work. A lot of prayer. And some searching. That's hard.

Sometimes I don't do hard well. Especially if there is an easy out. But running back isn't going to make it any easier to get where I need to be. Where God wants me to be. As I think back to the sadness I've felt as we've studied the journey out of Egypt, it has hit home. I need to get myself in gear, follow the path the Lord has laid before me, and not look back. I need to stop longing for my comfort zone. I need to stop treading water and waiting for a wave I can ride to the next shore. I need to start swimming forward. Though I can't see the actual destination, that doesn't mean that I can tell the journey to time out. Get on the path, one foot in front of the other, and keep going.

---------------
It's the third Tuesday of the month (well, actually it's sometime after the 3rd and before the 4th Tuesday...) and time to link up with Amy and update about my OneWord365 for the year. I am really glad for this accountability string. The reminder to post as I go, and not try to recall it all in December.

Crowd (Five Minute Friday)

It's Friday. Or at least the day I can write before the next Friday.  Time to stop for 5 minutes and write along with the gang. Want to join us? It's easy.
1. Set your timer. Write for 5 minutes on the prompt. No edits, no back-tracking, spell-check can be ignored. Just write.
2. Link up over here at Lisa-Jo's place.
3. This is the important rule: go visit the post of the person who linked up right before you. Read it. And leave them an encouraging note. THAT is the heart of the Five Minute Friday community. We'd love to have you be a part.

This week, we're writing about: CROWD.

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a part of the "in" crowd. You know, the popular kids? The girls that have their act together? They're pretty, and smart - but not totally nerdy (I still don't know how they did that!) - and fun, and everyone wants to be with them, and be like them. And everyone LIKES them.

I had a great group of ffriends in school, and to this day a few of them are still my closest friends. The ones I call on when things are ugly. WHen I need a hug or an ear to listen - even when months go by and we haven't talked, that's where I turn for a friend first.

I went away to college (far away from home) so I could find myself. Needed to get out of my hometown. (Great place to raise a family - still is - but we;d lived there my whole life and my dad was super involved in the community so everyone knew who we were. EVERYONE.) So I wanted to go away where I didn't know a single soul. To learn who I was. Where there wasn't an in crowd, or any other clique, at least not right away. Where I wasn't already stereotyped into who I would be.

That falls into my top 3 excellent choices I've ever made in my whole life. I learned who I was, what made me tick. I found a new group of friends - a few more who now are in my closest circle of friends to this day. And I learned that it's not about being with a crowd. It's about finding the gem within the crowd - to pull it out and gather it close. To weed through the crowd and the chaos to find the ones who bring calm. The ones who block the crowd and bring the love.

Being on the outside of the crowd puts me in the center of love. Where I want to be.

Stop.

Willing (Five Minute Friday)

Welcome to Five Minute Friday. Where a great big flash mob of brave souls deliver wonderful words for you to read. All on the same prompt, but never are two stories the same. Come join us!

The rules are simple.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat. No editing, backtracking, overthinking. Just write.
2. Link up here with the gang.
3. (The MOST IMPORTANT RULE!) visit the FMF Neighbor - the one who linked right before you - and leave a bit of encouragement for them. That is the heart of our community.

And here's my 5 minutes on:
WILLING.

There's a lot of talk about willing - are you always willing to do what God asks? Every time? Right when he asks? It's a popular sermon thought, and a theme throughout the Bible. And I like to think that I am. But deep down, sometimes I know, I am not willing. At least not if He asks me. Which is why sometimes I think instead of asking ... He tells me.

It's sort of like parenting. I learned (ok, sometimes I forget) to TELL the kids to do something if I didn't want to hear them tell me no. If I asked "will you please clear the dishes?" they could say no. And it would be on me, because I ASKED them. So instead, I say "S, please clear your dishes from the table." Now it's a command, and then there's no room to object - at least without consequences.

And so it goes with me. The Lord asks me to do a lot of things - and that's all well and good. But I am certain that if He had asked me to take a walk down the path of divorce, seeing my family torn by an extra-marital affair, and asked me to be gracious through it. To show the love of Christ to her. I would have said no. Really, who would volunteer to do that?! Not me.

BUT. He didn't ask me if I was willing. He allowed it to happen. (Don't mistake this for God bringing the divorce about Himself. He wouldn't do that. BUT He does let things happen, and there are consequences when folks make really lousy choices.)

And for days, weeks, months, YEARS, I fought tooth and nail, on my knees begging for it to be anything other than that conclusion. And still here I sit. And now, 4+ years later, I can see the good in it. The Lord has carried me through times harder than I could ever have imagined. And that's exactly why He didn't ask if I was willing. I would have thought it impossible to survive. To come out the other end with my heart healed, my faith stronger than when I went in, and a journey of grace that I never could have dreamed possible.

My unwilling self would have missed the opportunity to be a healing mentor. To show other women walking this same path, or a similar one, that God can indeed work even the awfulest of things for His Glory.  So my unwilling self on this occasion says "thank you" for making sure it was a command - a command to follow Him, and to do what is right, with grace. Even if . And Especially if. I wasn't willing.

Stop. 
(sorry, I ran over. confessing for all to see, I broke rule #1 this week)