Learn (Five Minute Friday)

The end of this summer marks the completion of 6 full years of walking the single parent road. The separation / divorce I didn’t ask for is now just a part of my life. Last week I had the opportunity to learn just how far I’ve come in that time. 

It used to hurt when people asked what happened. I dreaded being asked “where is your husband?” I cringed when someone asked the girls why their daddy wasn’t with us. But slowly the pain has faded. I no longer fear being asked. 

And this was made evident last week. A friend’s daughter asked, as kids often do, “where are S&A?” when I was at an event alone. I replied “they’re with their dad today and I get to pick them up tonight.” She responded “Oh.” Then she was quiet a minute. Then she asked “Wait. Are they all at your house waiting for you?”  I continued: “No, they’re at their dad’s house. They come back to my house tonight.” And then she asked “Does their dad not live with you?”  me: “no, he lives with their stepmom and little brother.” Her: “Wait. They have a brother and he is not your baby?” Me: “Correct.”  Her: “What, does their dad not like you anymore?”  (Her dad interjects here to try and get her to stop with all the questions.  I said it was ok to continue)  Me: “yeah, I think he didn’t like me too much any more”.  Her: “that’s dumb.  You and S & A are fun.” <end conversation>

A few years ago – not too many years ago , in fact – this would have upset me a lot. I could have probably held it together and managed to sneak away before bursting into tears. In the first few years, I would not have even made it through half of that exchange before I would have excused myself. But last week? It was OK. Kids just ask what they are thinking and wondering, and just call it like they see it. They don’t intend to hurt, usually. And I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I wasn’t phased by the conversation at all. Sure, it’s still a little pang, as the circumstances by which my ex “decided he didn’t like me anymore” are rather lousy. But, gone are the days of this making me an emotional train wreck. So, thanks my little friend, for showing me that it really is ok to talk about it – all of it – and that my heart is back in one piece.

Posting as a part of Five Minute Friday. You can read the posts on the prompt “Learn” here at Kate’s place. (I am a week late so the link up isn’t open). The link up for this week coming soon J

Fulfilled (a book review)

I had the opportunity to get a sneak peek at Danise Jurado’s book Fulfilled: Learning to Live the Life God Promised. It releases next week, on the 25^th, but I’ve had a chance to read it – and thanks to Danise’s generosity, I have a signed copy to give away to one lucky reader as well.  Details on how to win (and details on another giveaway) at the bottom.

Fulfilled is a balanced mix of personal stories and practical advice for how to live life to the full potential given you. I expected this to be a lofty, idealistic book – something teeming with clichés and generalizations. Instead it is hands-on. It is detailed and specific. Danise shares details and hardships – the times when things were at their worst – and how she, with God’s help, overcame all those situations. How she took the knowledge she has of God and His power, what she reads in His Word, and what she has learned from prior experience – and turned it into useful advice. It has targeted activities with real life examples from Danise’s own journey, but shows the reader how to apply in their own life. 

The chapters take you through a logical progression – from the most basic need of salvation and a relationship with God, through the hard choices of forgiveness and restoration, and forward on the challenging but rewarding journey of hope, joy and courage.  The chapter on family was particularly insightful for me. Danise’s parents divorced when she was young and it discusses how to piece a new family together – something very much needed in my own walk. She writes “I learned at a very young age that, when you are willing to open your heart and accept others, anyone can become your family.” This encouraged my heart – that walking the path as a single mom now need not define how our family is constructed. My identity is not found only in a broken family, but now also in a whole, yet different family.  Later on, this is summarized: “Our value as people doesn’t change just because our roles or responsibilities have changed.”

In the later chapters, Danise moves on to the harder aspects of growing in faith and fulfillment: finding your courage and confidence. Sometimes it is easy to get stuck in the existence of every day. It is a simple choice to give up, especially in the face of a challenge. But Danise reminds the reader that these journeys and struggles aren’t unique. They aren’t one-time isolated events. Every hurdle you overcome is a stepping stone to the next challenge set before you. “Confidence that has been built with the wisdom of preparation can only truly succeed if its foundation is faith in God, who is always bigger than the unexpected.”  You can train, practice, study, or however you look at it. But even the most prepared individual in any situation can face something unexpected with the task at hand. Knowing that God can bridge those gaps brings confidence to attempt them anyway, rather than to turn tail and run. 

These are only a few of the valuable points made within the pages of Fulfilled. It’s an easy read from the perspective of being written in down to earth language, with real life examples. Yet at the same time, it is a challenge – lots of step-by-step in the earlier sections that are meant to mull on and pray over. Practical applications that when complete allow the later chapters to have more influence on daily choices.

You can purchase a copy of Fulfilled on Amazon. 50% of the proceeds benefit the Dream Center.  And you can enter to win a signed copy by leaving a comment below. Entry closes on August 27 at midnight Eastern Time. Winner will be selected at random from all entries received.

**Note** in addition to your comment for the entry, please send me an email so that I have a way to contact you if you are the winner. I can't make the comment form mask your email and I don't want you to have to list it. Thanks** 

In addition, Danise has a $100 giveaway that is open until September 25, with unlimited entries.

Thanks, Danise, for the opportunity to read your book and to pass it along to someone else.