If you know me at all, you know I am a planner. (Some might
say an over planner). I do it all day every day for my job and I also find that
it makes my household run somewhat smoother. The kids like having a schedule.
And I like having one, too. There’s something to be said for knowing what is
coming. Yes, spontaneity is fun and there’s a time and place for it, but it’s
not my preference. (ok, I admit it. Surprises are fun but totally unplanned
events / happenings make me VERY, VERY nervous.)
Waiting doesn’t have to equate to not planning, but I
interpreted it that way, purposely. I tried not to plan everything as soon as
an idea popped into my head. I tried to
let ideas simmer more and to weigh them as options in their high level form
before getting mired in the details of potential execution. It was hard.
As I look forward to 2016 I see a lot of changes on the
horizon for us. Honestly, I saw them coming earlier this year – wanted some of
them to happen sooner – but couldn’t see a path for how to get them rolling. So
I waited. Hoped. Anticipated. Tried to put them out of my mind, instead of
planning a way to make them get here.
Lots of late night discussions with some very important
people and many, many hours spent praying for a path or direction, still
nothing. Just waiting. I could see the destination and could not see the path.
Not even the first step. Wait. Wait. Wait.
I didn’t like it at all. I spent many a night fretting and
many a night in tears with my frustration. However, as the year came to a
close, a lot of other things have changed. Circumstances beyond my control and
things completely unexpected have all set in motion. The path I could not even
imagine less than 6 months ago is emerging right before my eyes. Decisions I
thought would be hard won’t even have to be made because other people have made
some choices and set the stones into place. Now all I have to do is follow the
path, one step at a time.
My usual method of plan and execute was put to the test with
a mission to wait and see. The waiting yielded the direction and also the
confirmation I needed that these are the next right steps for us.
And so 2015 comes to a close, the waiting nearly complete.
Timing of life with kids is such that there is a little more waiting to be
done, but now there is a healthy, refreshing dose of planning to go with it.
And as the start of 2016 stands before us tonight, the year of PURSUE begins.
