We've reached the end of 2022. One year later, one more post. It's time to reflect on how things went this year - and look ahead to what 2023's focus will be.
In this year, my OneWord365 focus was EMBRACE. Embracing all the change ahead, whatever every new day brought my way. I continued my walk the year adventures. While I did not match last year's 3,006 miles, nor achieve either of my target date goals (2022 by my birthday; W&OD end to end in a day), I did get to 2022 (Oct 13, so a month and 10 days after plan), and I did figure out why my goal of the W&OD in a day didn't work. (The W&OD is Washington & Old Dominion Trail - a rail to trail path here. It is 45 miles from end to end. The distance isn't the problem, the training isn't the problem. The target of a weekend day when it was warm enough (but not hot) and daylight for long enough isn't a thing. Soccer games, lacrosse games, field hockey games. And that's just my parent challenge. Add basketball, lacrosse, band, soccer, swim, (and other things I am forgetting) for my walker partner kiddos... it's not happening. Mid summer brings (the occasional) free Saturday, but July out here would make us melt in the humidity. Not a good plan.
On a walk today, it finally occurred to us that we need to do it on a weekday (when the trail is less crowded and the kids stuff is after school so they can sort of self transport or we can get them carpooled). April or May, or maybe September. Before the sunlight also wipes us out. With a coordinated, planned PTO day, I think this year we can make it happen. We shall try again. In the meantime, I embraced the reality that the goals I had set weren't going to happen as I had envisioned, and I dismissed any notion of guilt about it. Other things were more important, and realizing that was a key to this year.
S, my oldest, is now 17, nearly halfway through her senior year - and what a ride it has been. She is awaiting college acceptance info. She jumped into that challenging arena with two feet and has fully owned the process. It has been my joy and delight to support her through the process. Support has looked like listening to ideas, accompanying her on tours, asking the occasional question, and cheering her on as each application has gone out the door. She's got great choices ahead of her. Now I am embracing the art of waiting (2015 was good practice for this) while the acceptance information comes in and then the art of listening as she reasons through to the landing place. My prayer is that she finds a place that she loves as much as it loves her back - where she can grow, learn, and thrive.
A, my youngest, is now 14. She has started high school, stepped up into a leadership role on her travel soccer team and is currently in the middle of winter track season - a new sport for her. Embrace, for me, in this, looks like showing up for meets (and trying to understand the ... loosely organized chaos), cheering her on, a whole new schedule of practice pickups, and a new set of terminology.
Watching both the girls grow, learn, work through challenges, while mama cheers from the sideline, and listens when asked, advises (mostly when asked, though they would tell you I also still do it occasionally when NOT asked - this plays right into my 2023 word), and hugs them through all of it.
My dear friend Erika and I embraced a challenge this year - a girls only trip to Mallorca, where we hiked a good part of the GR221, met some amazing people, spent 10 days together away from our families, and connected like we haven't had a chance to since we graduated. 10 days away from work was a challenge. I have a wonderful team - they did an amazing job. I didn't check in, I didn't check email, I embraced the full brain break from work focus for the first time in I cannot remember how long. It was necessary, it was refreshing. Big win.
And as we reached the end of this year, I embraced the need for a change in my physical health. Due to a long and twisty journey, this year ended with me having a full hysterectomy on December 8. I have been off work since then (will return in Jan) and fully focused on recovery and healing. There is work yet to be done here, however I am pleased to report that I am feeling AMAZING and so many of the challenges I was facing these last few years are already gone. I am back up and walking my regular distance most days, albeit at a slower pace for now, and can see so much improvement. I have also watched a lot of terrible TV, some terrific TV, read a pile of books, and been very mindful to focus on resting. The girls, neighbors, and friends all stepped up to make this work.
The last thing I embraced this year was the ask from the kids to get our Christmas cards out on time (instead of for New Year's) and I am delighted to report 100% success on that. They even (mostly) ARRIVED before Christmas. A win!
As this year draws to a close, that takes me to thoughts of what comes next. While this year has been about embracing all the lasts (as S prepares to graduate) and the firsts (as A starts her HS journey), next year promises more - so much more - of the same. 6 months until graduation. 8 months until she starts the next chapter somewhere else. And A and I figure out what it looks like with only one kiddo here. How do we let go and let them grow, and yet hold tight and catch all the memories in the making? How do we celebrate the wins and also grow, learn, and give space for others to do the same? How do we do all of that while still remembering grace, kindness, and love come above all the other things?
That is where my word of the year comes in. 2023 is the year of "soften". Hold them close, but not TOO close. Teach and guide them, but gently, softly, where they can step up and do the doing on their own. Hold hands, cheer, support. But don't drag them through. Encourage rather than dictate. Celebrate without overwhelming. Love without smothering. Make the memories and allow them to make some on their own, too. Be there, but sometimes be the silent supporter. Let them shine, let them grow, love them through it all, and reflect it back. I contemplated "relinquish" and "release" as other options, but those sounded too harsh for the mission here. Not letting go of all the things - not hands off or shoving away. Rather gentle shaping around the edges, holding space for all of it. Cupping my hands to shield from the wind gusts as the first one looks to leave the nest, and as the second one starts to stretch her wings. A safe space to launch, and a soft space for landing when they come back.
Soften - here we go.
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2013 - grace
2014 - journey
2015 - wait
2016 - pursue
2017 - raw
2018 - listen
2019 - balance
2020 - enough
2021 - YES, AND
